My Wonderful Life
by Shadydrmr
Summary: Sometimes you don't want your wishes to be answered. That's what Perry Cox learned when he was visited by a stanger on Christmas Eve. JDCox Slash in later chs
1. Christmas Eve & unwanted guests

_Hello wonderful readers!_

_Just to let you all know this is my first Scrubs fic! So I'm learning on how to write for the characters. Let me know if you see anyways that could help. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Scrubs, or else the writer's guild's strike wouldn't postpone-hold ransom, same difference- the new episodes._

**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch 1:**

_**Christmas Eve and Unwanted Guests**_

It had been another long day at Sacred Heart, a hideously slow day, which was surprising as it were Christmas Eve. Of course, Perry was not complaining about the fact that he did not have to deal with codes or serious diseases, but it had been long. He was at the point where it didn't feel right any more. Where he wasn't sure why he continued to put himself through the daily torture that Kelso, ring master of the seventh level of hell, assigned him each day. He hated the monkeys he was forced to call coworkers, and- he had to stop himself from grimacing as he thought of the title loosely- doctors and nurses.

There was no way to avoid transferring to a new hospital and finding out that maybe Belzabob wasn't the worst ring master ever, but he didn't want to discover that there were people out there that cared more about the money and less about the patient than Kelso. He knew they were out there, he just never wanted to face them or else he would be forced to rip their stethoscopes from around their necks and insert them so far up their colon that the knife jockeys would have to figure out which entrance would be the fastest method of removal.

The people he worked with, he thought of that as the nicest term for Kelso's monkeys, never let him be. Breaks were nonexistent and Perry tried so hard to keep up the angry asshole image, but when interns and residents came in with questions like: _How long does it take an old lady to bleed out?_ How was he supposed to sit by and let the incompetent staff kill off the patients that had no other place to go and get killed.

Than there was that little group that seemed to always hang out at the nurse's station talking with Nurse Espinosa-er, Nurse Turk. Well, that was still weird calling the only other employee of Sacred Heart he considered to have any level of competence by her married name. The name she took on after marrying the scalpel jockey who had to be dating the annoying resident that was always trying so hard to be called Perry's protegé. Than there was private practice Barbie. Who ever decided to put those four in the hospital with him had a sick sense of humor.

He sighed as he ran a hand over his face, attempting to remove the stress from his face as fast as possible. He walked into his apartment and made a beeline straight to his bottle of scotch. Grabbing it and a clean glass, he found his normal spot on his couch and leaned back ready to watch the results for the hockey game. Hell if he might have settled to watch Scrooged, he did get a kick out of Wild Cat going insane with the rifle.

_Knock _

_knock_

Perry grimaced as he looked over his shoulder at the door and shook his head. Placing the glass of the soothing amber liquid on the table, he wandered over to the door. It took him a second before he finally pulled it open, ready to kill whoever stood on the opposite side. Jordan wasn't supposed to be bringing Jack by at any time, and she had finally stopped dropping in for, what she considered, spontaneous sex romps. Of course sex with Satan's daughter was nowhere near as horrible as he claimed, it just never was as filling as he thought it should have been.

The door was open and Perry realized that he'd been standing there for a good three minutes staring at an empty hall. He raised his eyebrow in confusion. Shaking his head he shut the door and locked it before returning to his couch.

"Stupid kids." Perry sighed as he stared at the images flashing across the television screen. Sometimes he just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. There was too much going on in the world that made him not want to fight anymore. His sister was fine without him and had long passed the time where she needed her big brother to protect her from a drunken father. Jack was with his mother six days out of seven and he wound up spending seven when Jordan forgot to check Perry's schedule and tried to leave the boy with him on a day he was pulling a double shift.

The only person that seemed to openly need him besides his patients, who could easily be passed onto Newbie, was Newbie. Damn it if the resident wasn't annoying and needy and also one of the best residents he had ever trained in a long time. Not that he would ever tell that to the girl, but still he was glad to say that he had shown the kid everything he knew. But Newbie would survive without him, and Perry knew he was just as disposable as any other doctor in the hospital.

_Knock,_

_knock_

Perry groaned as he pulled himself back to his feet. This time he decided to bring the refilled glass with him as he trudged begrudgingly to the door. Whoever was disrupting his time away from hell would quickly regret their decision.

Swinging the doo open, Perry stuck his face out, only to have a fist smash into his stomach and another into the center of his chest. Stumbling back, Perry saw only a blurry figure leaning over him before he collapsed and was engulfed into a world of darkness.

_I hope you guys enjoyed. sorry for posting a holiday fic right on the holiday, but the spirits still there. _

_R&R_

_Catch you on the flip side_

_Shadydrmr_


	2. Beer and Introductions

_Disclaimer: I don't own it...I wish I did...but I dont. My brain doesn't think of such incredible characters_

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My Wonderful Life

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**Ch 2:**

**Beer and Intros**

JD ran down the hall, his smile spreading across his face as he thought about the upcoming night. He had to think about it or else he would let his mind wander to the thought that kept crawling into the back of his mind. He needed to think about the fact that Carla was working a night shift and both he and Turk had the night off for the first time in a couple of months, which meant that they were going to watch Gilmore Girls and drink some beers before going to play some much needed pranks on Elliot. His shift was almost over which meant the night was going to begin at any moment.

He found Turk leaning against the counter at the Nurse's Station flirting with Carla. JD couldn't help but laugh at the fact that his best friend and wife were still so cute after being together for almost six years.

"Vanilla bear!" Turk threw his arm over JD's shoulder and smiled at Carla as though he were a teenager with a slingshot in his back pocket.

"See, baby, JD and I are just gonna hang out at the apartment and watch Gilmore Girls." Carla eyed the two men before shaking her head and smiling.

"Bambi, you know that Elliot's out with Keith tonight, right?" JD nodded as he placed his folders on the desk in front of Carla.

"Why am I supposed to care that she's out with her booty call?" JD tried to sound nonchalant, but failed as he thought how much he hated Keith.

"Baby, don't worry, JD and I'll be good. I just have to make sure I have your present ready for tomorrow." Carla smiled as she leaned in to kiss her husband softly on the lips.

"Merry Christmas, baby." Carla whispered against the man's lips. Turk grinned and elbowed his best friend's side. "Oh and, Turk, just make sure you're home too tired when I get home, I want you to open your present early." Turk couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face as his wife's back retreated to whatever room she needed to work in.

"Dude, JD, you ready?" JD stared off a little before shaking his head and nodding at Turk.

"C'mon, Turk, when am I not ready?" Turk laughed and patted the man's shoulder as they headed off towards the locker room to grab their jackets and head home.

* * *

"J-dizzle, you've been acting so out of it, man. What has been going through that head of yours lately?" Turk asked as he finished his sixth beer. JD shrugged as he leaned back in the couch and frowned before he took a swig of his seventh beer. Turk raised an eyebrow and the other man and shook his head.

"Dude, normally I'd let you get away with it, but man, you _never_ drink more than me. Especially right before Christmas." Turk looked the man over before glancing at the scene of _It's a Wonderful Life _where George kisses Mary during the phone call. Black and white Christmas movies had always been a great hit for the holiday. He glanced back at JD to find him staring at the screen with some kind of sadness in his eyes. Turk nodded with a sigh before playfully hitting the other man's shoulder.

"Man, JD, you and Elliot are so not meant to be anything beyond friends. Don't let all the romance and kissy faced holiday stuff bring you down. What can we do to make that frown turn into one of your goofy smiles?" Turk laughed as he looked around the room and spotted Rowdy.

JD looked over his shoulder and laughed, trying to push the evasive thought from his mind. Turk leapt over the couch and pulled Rowdy towards the other man.

"Looks like Rowdy needs to get into the spirit of the season, don't you think?" Turk smirked as JD caught on to the idea.

"Carla's gonna flip if she finds Elf Rowdy in the bedroom." JD chuckled, only to receive a shaking head from Turk.

"Naw, man, Rowdy's gonna go somewhere else. I can't afford to have Carla getting mad at me and not giving me any Christmas sex under the mistletoe." Turk smiled knowing JD would understand how important that was to him. Instead he was greeted with a curious look from JD.

"Then who's Rowdy caroling to?"

"Who better to bug other than Scrooge himself?" JD looked at Turk curiously, slowly cocking his head to the left.

_Turk and JD dove behind the wall. __B__oth peeking over to see Kelso open the door, only t__o be attacked by a singing Rowdy.__ Kelso enters the hallway wearing red-footed __pjs__ and holding a little fork in his hand. His hair tinged red as it poked up in two horns like cowlicks. __Turk and JD looked at each other with large eyes filled with surprised and were forced to stifle their laughter. They looked back to find the Janitor standing behind Kelso in some silk kimono and face paint attempting to mimic a geisha, only giving the look of some deranged cross-dresser. Tied to a stick over his head was a branch of mistletoe, causing JD to have the urge to run to the bathroom and expel any and all contents in his stomach, even his stomach if that were possible. Only to have two women press the friends against a wall and hand-cuff __them__ while telling them about animal cruelty._

"JD?" Turk held his friend's shoulders with a look of concern spread across his face as JD focused his blue green eyes on Turk's chocolate ones.

"NO! Rowdy can't see Kelso and Janitor like that! That's animal abuse!" JD panted as he tried to get any other image into his mind. He almost immediately regretted the next image and shook his head, forcing himself to laugh at Turk's horrified expression.

"Dude, wow, you're imagination is horrible. I am cutting off your beer supply as of now. I do not want to have nightmares trying to put that comment together." Turk shook his head as he patted Rowdy's head. "I was totally thinking we drop him off at Dr. Cox's." JD's heart fell into his stomach as he stared dumb founded at his best friend.

"Turk, let's bring Rowdy to Elliot's. Dr. Cox is not going to be happy if he finds Rowdy there." JD stared at his hands, refusing to allow a blush to cross his cheeks as an image started to form of the older doctor opening the door shirtless. Shaking his head quickly he wanted to get that image out as soon as possible before he was forced to throw up.

"Oh my God!" Turk stared at JD as he realized something in his drunken stupor. Brown eyes sized up the doctor sitting on his couch and understood why JD had been so withdrawn.

* * *

"Sweet baby Jesus," Perry gasped as he attempted to pull himself into a sitting position on his couch. He stared at the glass of scotch on the table and thought of how many shots he must have had in order to imagine being knocked out at his door and to awake on his couch. Reaching towards the glass, Perry stopped short as he realized there was a man sitting in the room with him.

"Merry Christmas, Perry." The strange man smiled at Perry, winning a confused look from the tired doctor.

"Not to seem so cliché, but bah hum bug." Perry spat out as he tried to figure out which of his mentally imbalanced patience could have followed him there. "Now, Camille, mind telling me who you are and what the hell you're doing in _my_ home?" The man smiled at Perry, which was not the reaction Perry was going for. He was looking for more of shaking in his boots, sweat pouring from his face, stuttering, maybe even peeing his pants a little. The peeing could always wait until the man had left his apartment, so Perry would not have to clean up after him, but Perry only found himself confused as he stared at the man's smile.

"Oh, Perry, come now, you don't know who I am?" He continued to smile at the doctor. "I heard you talking to yourself. Thought I could help you out." Perry sat up and stared at the man, knowing he had to have escaped from a psych ward. His eyes glancing around the room in search of anything he could use to help fend of the man if he decided to come any closer.

"Perry, I came to show you how life would be if you weren't around." The man's smile slid off his face as he was caught in an almost maniacal glare from Perry's green eyes. The air caught in the man's throat as he tried to explain what he meant before he was harmed by the man he came to help.

"You re-eee-ally need to be kidding me you bag of bones. You have to the count of five to get out before I show you the short cut out the window." The strange man gulped as his eyes started to look around the room warily. Perry couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, that was the look he had been looking for.

"B-b-b-but, Perry, I ca-c-c-can't leave you tonight." Raising an eyebrow to the suddenly nervous man's comment, Perry couldn't help but think of how the shaking man reminded him of Nervous Guy in the morgue.

"Ah, hell, Chelsea, why are we trying so hard to get my attention? I don't go for little girls like you." Perry smirked at his comment, but the other man didn't seem to find it so amusing.

"You'd miss doing that, you know. Calling that Dr. Dorian girl's names all the time, and harassing the other people at Sacred Heart." Perry eyed the man suspiciously.

"Doctor who?" Perry couldn't help himself. If this guy was going to come in acting as though he knew something about him, than Perry would make sure to give the guy as hard of a time as he possibly could before he left willingly or through the offered window.

"Jonathan Dorian. The one person you think actually needs you around to some small extent. The guy who's always following you around at the hospital, that you call Newbie or one of a million girl names before ridiculing him and tearing him down, and continue to be frustrated when he follows you around." Perry glared at the other man, not so sure he wanted to know where exactly the man was going with the conversation they were having.

"What are you getting at, Shirley?" Stopping for a second, Perry realized he had never seen the man before and pleasantries had not been exchanged. He continued to stare at the man for a second, trying to figure out how exactly he was capable of taking him out with such strong blows. Not to seem so egotistical, but it was pretty hard to shock his amazing body.

"All men have weak spots, Perry, even self proclaimed islands. And my name is Chancy." Chancy replied taking in the look of shock written across the doctor's face. "As I was saying before, I am here to help you out. The only way I know how though, the only way that any of us upstairs could figure, would be to show you your life if you had never been around."

Perry was confused, he kept staring at the man calling himself Chancy. How the hell could that man come here and introduce himself with that name, giving Perry the chance to open up to thousands of different jokes, but also make it where he didn't want to. Something had to be wrong, Perry knew something was off with this man and he wasn't so sure he wanted to see what this crazy guy was talking about with showing him his life without him.

"Wait," Perry looked up and met Chancy's gaze, "did you say upstairs?"

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_So that's the end of ch 2. I hope you guys enjoyed._

_R&R _


	3. Angels Among Us

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed and I apologize for the time it took to get this posted for you. ENJOY

Disclaimer: Although the author wishes that she owned Scrubs, it is not in her possession or else her writers and her would have finished the last 6 episodes and had them filmed before the writer's strike -.-

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**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch 3:**

_**Angels among us**_

"I wondered if you caught that, Per-per." Chancy smirked as he relaxed, bringing a hint of disappointment to Perry when he could no longer see any sign of the nervousness that he had brought out in the strange man. Running a hand through his hair, Perry glanced at the television seeing that he had stopped on a local news station. He rolled his eyes as the man talking struck him as a cartoon character with his orange hue that was meant to be a tan, but had failed miserably.

"So, we should get started as soon as possible. There's only six hours until Christmas." Perry cocked his head to the side as he took in Chancy properly in the light. Chancy looked to be somewhere in his mid forties, slightly graying black hair that was shaved on the sides, with a slight wave as it flowed over the top of his head. He had dark eyes that made it hard to see the difference between his pupils and his irises. He probably stood at 5'11" with an overly joyous personality that Perry could only assume would be visible in each of his steps.

"What do you mean 'get started'?" Perry asked as he returned his eyes to Chancy's gaze, earning a nod of acknowledgement.

"Well, Per-per-" Perry shook his head and narrowed his eyes as he coughed to interrupt the man's error.

"The name is Dr. Cox. Not even my ex-wife- with whom I'm assuming you had been introduced to as Satan herself-gets away with calling me '_Per-per_'." Chancy laughed and glanced at the only picture frame on the mantle that had the doctor's ex-wife. She was smiling and holding a little blonde haired child who was holding a stuffed dog.

"Jordan has always had a fiery personality, but I would never compare her to Satan. Besides, if she were Satan incarnate, how did you balance out her evil and have a semi-normal child like Jack?" Perry's face froze as he eyed Chancy once again before shaking his head. He tried once again to figure out where he could have seen Chancy, because they had to know each other in order for him to know Jordan and Jack. How could he know them?

"Perry, I'm not one of your patients. I can call you Perry, because we are two men having a conversation." Perry shook his head as he buried his face in his hands.

"No, Chancy, we are n-AW-t two men having a conversation. You are a man who may have to go to the ER ve-aaa-ry soon to have my foot removed from his ass." Perry turned his head and continued to glare down Chancy. "I don't know what you are talking about with this 'upstairs' bullshit, but I can tell you for sure, that if you have been stalking me, and plan on harming a single hair on Jack's head, I will see to it personally that Satan and all her minions wait in line to get to you, because I will tear you limb from limb." A red tinge of fury washed over Perry's face, accenting the vein that was now pulsing in his head. Chancy didn't even blink as he stared at Perry, keeping the smile on his damn face and only helping to further frustrate Perry.

"Perry, I know Jack and Jordan, because I've known you since you were born." Chancy smiled as he leaned forward and placed a hand on Perry's fore arm. Blue eyes focused on the unwelcomed touch and the desire to watch it explode began to rise. "I'm your guardian angel." Perry's eyes shot towards Chancy in utter disbelief.

"Excuse me? I don't have time for this sick little fantasy of yours. I just got off work and-" Chancy nodded as he took the glass and bottle of scotch away from Perry's grasp.

"You were going to drink yourself into a drunken stupor where you would finally find the courage to off yourself?" This was getting to be too much for the skeptic that Perry so proudly made himself out to be. He watched as Chancy stood up and took cautious steps to stand in front of Perry.

"How?" The only word that was able to be formed and find its way from Perry's brain and vocal chords to his mouth. The delayed reaction, and shortness for words that was uncharacteristic of the red headed man was the only response that Chancy needed to know that he had finally struck a strong enough chord with Perry to get his mission started. Kneeling before the shocked man, Chancy tried to catch his gaze before continuing his speech.

"I am your Guardian Angel, Percival. I have been watching over you since the time you were conceived and I will continue to watch over you until you die." Smirking, Chancy couldn't help but wink at the man. "If my mission is completed, your death will be completely different and you might prefer it to being too drunk to know not to tuck your head to your chest as you plummet head first into the cement below. Which if the timing is done correctly, would be the same minute that Jordan is bringing Jack over to surprise you." Perry stared into the dark eyes, not knowing if he should ring the man's throat or if he should just listen to the nightmares that Chancy continued to state, which, until the last comment, had been accurate about his thoughts. Could it be true that angels existed?

"So does this mean that you're going to show me a different world that my absence changes and its supposed to upset me to such an extent that I change the person I am today?" He jokingly asked as he leaned back against the couch, his hands finding their place at the back of his head before quickly swiping at his nose in irritation.

"Well, that's the plan." Chancy responded happy that he didn't have to explain the plan.

"And if you succeed you get your wings? Or that pair of big boy boxers that you've been dying for so that your little angel girlfriend might finally take notice and you won't be embarrassed as she undresses you with her eyes?" A blush rushed across Chancy's face as he stared at the triumphant smile spreading across Perry's face.

"Well, think of this as a mixture of Dickens' ghosts and _A Wonderful Life_'s what-would-life-have-been-like-had-you-never-existed." Perry shook his head, figuring that he might as well just deal with this and get it over as fast as possible so he could go back to enjoying his scotch in the peaceful and much needed and appreciated silence of his apartment.

"Where do I sign or start or whatever?" Perry groaned as he rolled his head against the back of the couch.

"Well," Chancy started to look around and mumble something inaudible. Perry just raised his eyebrow as his eyes fell back on the picture frame that showed a smiling Jack Cox. That picture always made Perry smile.

"Well?" Perry asked after the room had remained silent, save the sound of the men's breathing.

"I think it would be best to start with the past." Perry nodded as he rose to his feet, his chest no longer felt taught from the punch earlier, nor did his jaw ache. Smiling Perry started towards his room to grab a pair of shoes and a jacket before he started out on whatever journey his so called angel was taking him on.

"Perry, you already have your shoes on and your jacket's by the door." Perry nodded as he looked down at his feet. He must not have removed his shoes when he got back from the hospital. Shrugging, he took the few steps to the door, had his jacket covering his torso in a matter of seconds, his keys in one hand while the other held the door ajar.

"Let's get moving. I'm a doctor, this whole taking your sweet time thing is not in my nature." Chancy laughed as he stepped outside the door.

"There are a lot of things that aren't in your nature, _Dr._ Cox." Perry grinned as he finally got the respect that he had gone through years of hard work and long, sleepless nights to earn. Both men turned and Chancy placed a hand on Perry's shoulder, forcing the man to look him in the eyes.

"I have to explain one thing; I need you to understand this. The things you are going to see are the past. They have already taken place and there is no way you can change them. You are going to see things that you don't want to remember, but you can't interact with the people. Even if you wanted to, there would be no way for you to communicate with them." Perry nodded as though he had heard the line over and over again.

"Can we quit the chit-chat and get going with the time travel?" Perry stopped as he looked at Chancy before allowing a groan to escape his throat at the jovial look in the angel's eyes. "Oh, don't even go there, girlfriend." Perry was halfway down the hall before Chancy realized it and rushed after the man.

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A/N: _Here's the next chapter. I'm editing the next one before putting it up.  
Have any of you guys heard anything about Scrubs' finally? Is it going to be finished at all with the Writer's strike? (NBC has already given up its thurs night 930 time slot to some other show tear) Let me know if you guys hear anything. _


	4. The Past is Meant to stay in the Past

**Disclaimer:** Scrubs does NOT belong to me...I'm just in love with it.

**A/N**: Thanks to everybody who's reviewed so far. I love that you guys are enjoying it.**

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**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch 4:**

**The Past is Meant to Stay in the Past**

The small house looked perfect; a house that belonged to a typical American family, who had reached the American dream. Although there was no white picket fence marking the perimeter, there was a well manicured, vibrantly green lawn, a small flower garden lining the walkway to the front door. Looking at the empty cement driveway there was a basketball hoop hanging above the garage door, where a Lexus was hidden from the view of any passer-by.

Perry stood staring at the house, a blank expression on his face. He never wanted to return here, ever. The fact that he was standing in front of his childhood home had yet to sink in, but he knew that the lights were out inside behind the drawn curtains. That the moon in sky meant that his father would be in the house, if not on his way and, depending on what time Chancy had brought them to, than the number of people hiding in their beds, pretending to be asleep to avoid a drunken beating would vary.

As if on cue a black Porsche pulled into the driveway. As the engine was stopped, Perry felt his hippocampus start working as his adrenaline pulsed beneath his skin. The desire to flee was winning the desire to fight. Damn his childhood instincts. Had Chancy not said he was incapable of interacting with the people from the past? Than there would be no way for them to interact with him and if they couldn't interact with him, than there would be no real reason for Perry to have his hands balled into fists, hidden inside his pockets in an attempt to hide and possible stop the fear that was slowly taking control of his body in a long forgotten shake.

The car door swung open and Perry's eyes narrowed as he stared at the disheveled appearance of the tall man stumbling out of the vehicle. His left hand grasped around the handle to an expensive suitcase that Perry had a feeling hid pornography and some kind of flask among the folders of supposed paperwork that the man had claimed to work so vigorously on to bring in the income to afford the charade of a life that Perry could only wish had not been one. The business suit that the man wore was slightly wrinkled, his jacket thrown lazily over his shoulder, his button up shirt not fully tucked in under his belt. Below the belt, Perry knew that the zipper was probably undone, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the belt that had been used to whip him so often as a child.

Perry couldn't help but grimace as Chancy pushed him forward to follow the man stumbling up the drive and into the house.

* * *

"Maybe Jordan came over and is entertaining Dr. Cox right now." Turk suggested with a wink as he glanced back at the closed door. JD shrugged as he walked back to re-adjust the green felt hat tied onto Rowdy's head. A soft jingle sounded as the bell flopped up and down with the movement. JD looked over his shoulder at the man hiding behind the corner only steps away.

"Maybe he just killed her and some angel got wings for the release of all souls in Sacred Heart from the grips of Jordan Sullivan-Sataness." Turk couldn't help the laughter as JD carried the dog down the hall. As he passed Turk, JD couldn't help but sigh in relief that his mentor had not answered the door to their prank. The idea of facing an irate Dr. Cox outside of the hospital instantly sobered the young doctor.

"Vanilla Bear, why are you in such a rush to jam? I mean, Cox is a straight up asshole to you at work. He deserves to have a little visit from the Bears and Rowdy. Scare him into treating you differently." Hiding a tone of disappointment in the lack of activity, Turk followed JD and Rowdy into the elevator.

"For some reason, Turk, I don't think I would've gotten that hug from Perry any sooner had he opened the door." JD chuckled as he looked back at his friend. "Now, I'm thinking that Elliot might be playing out some Mexican Apple Thief game back at her place by now." Turk raised his eyebrow in confusion as he stared at JD. There was a definite curiosity as to what the hell his friend was talking about with Mexican apple thieves, but when it came to Elliot, Turk knew that it wasn't always safe to get into that woman's head. Sometimes he didn't want to know what was going through Carla's and they were married, why would he want to be in the head of some woman that he didn't have to figure out more than understanding how many '_fricks_' divulged her frustration/ embarrassment level.

"Dude, I think Rowdy misses his frick-miesteress." Turk smirked as the two friends walked out of the elevator and headed out to Turk's car.

"Looks like Rowdy's gonna have a great night out anyways! If I were him I'd rather see Elliot than Dr. Cox." JD joked as he looked back at the dog in the back seat and smiled.

"I've got the camera, you get Rowdy and make sure not to laugh too hard when the 'fricks' start." Turk and JD's laughter echoed through out the car as they drove towards their friend's apartment.

* * *

"What kind of twisted joke is this, Chancy? I mean bringing me back to my childhood nightmare house? This was not something I wanted to relive!" Perry started at the angel who was leaning against a wall in what used to be Perry's bedroom when he was a child. Being here, in this very room, ripped away any holds he had on his emotions. He couldn't help the look of betrayal and rage fighting over his face. He couldn't help the shiver running up his spine as he glanced at the beds stuffed to look as though Perry and Paige were sleeping. He definitely couldn't stop the shaking that was starting in his hands as he stared at the closet, nor the flood of memories that broke down their prison wall and attacked his mind.

"You don't want to remember it, that's why you never see Paige." Chancy retorted as he tried to remain calm. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. Of course he'd watched Perry grow into the man he was today, but he had never interacted with him. Now he began to second guess the sanity of those who worked at Sacred Heart, especially those who associated with him on a daily basis. He didn't have to question Jordan's, he knew she was of a different stock all together, that's why she and Perry had worked for so long.

"Have you heard of suppression? Denial? Destroying years of therapy in less than five minutes?" Perry huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. His anger dissipated as he stared at the closet. His stomach twisted as he wished that he could tell the children hiding in there to climb out the window and run. To leave everything behind and just get the hell away from the drunk of a man who tried to call himself their father but was nothing more than a sperm-donor. To not worry about their mother, because no matter how hard she fought against the man, she was still weak and would always run back to him.

The door to the bedroom creaked open and Perry couldn't stop himself from pressing against the wall and inhaling sharply. He swore he could hear the panic of the children in the closet, but knew that they had probably not moved save for the Perry's hand covering his sister's mouth while his arm wrapped around her shoulders in a failed attempt to soothe her.

"Percival? Paige?" The disheveled man surveyed the room as he stumbled towards the closet. "Where are you kids? Daddy's got a Christmas surprise for yous." The control of his voice in such a drunken stupor had been something Perry had forced himself to forget. He glared at Chancy, hating him for bringing him to watch this.

The door to the closet was swung open and Perry could see the fear written across the young Paige's face. She didn't have a second to think before the younger Perry had grabbed her arm and pulled her past their drunken father.

"Get yar asses back h're." The older Cox stopped as he tried to grab at his son, but only succeeded in catching Paige's blond hair. The younger girl's scream echoed throughout the house as she was pulled from her brother's grasp.

The doctor standing against the wall stormed angrily towards his father. His fists balled so tightly that the veins popped against the white skin. His teeth ground together as he kept the man who was about five inches shorter, blonde hair-where Paige got it from-, and green eyes-the eyes Perry had inherited- in his line of vision. His eyes fought with his brain to be the first to figure out where his fist should go to get the best effect. Did he want to kill the man? No, he wanted to make him suffer, to make him pay for the years of counseling and pain Perry had gone through.

His fist swung through the air and went through his father's head.

"What!" Perry's face fell as he remembered that he couldn't interact with the images of the past. "Damnit!" A deep red exploded over Perry's face, causing Chancy to take a step back and reconsider going to help the man back to the wall. Instead, both men watched the scene continue to unfold. Chancy shaking his head, knowing how it felt to watch and incapable of helping, and Perry steaming as he watched in horror as his father's belt formed mark after mark across the younger Perry's chest for trying to protect his sister. The cries of Paige hitching with every sharp intake of air Perry took with each lash.

The doorway suddenly darkened with a shadow, causing the adults to look over and find a woman with tasseled auburn hair flowing over her shoulders, green eyes staring with a shaky determination, slender arms supporting her small frame against the wall. She coughed slightly trying to get her children's attention. Perry and Chancy looked at the kids and saw that neither wanted to acknowledge her presence.

"James, its Christmas eve for Christ's sake!" Her voice shook as she stared at the man, one arm wrapping over her stomach to protect the most recent injury. "Leave them alone! Just get the hell out! For one fucking night, just let them have this one night, please!" She pleaded, her words charging the ears of all the people in the room. The words that never worked, Perry knew that, James knew that, even the kids knew that. Still Justice-yes, her name was a sick joke for the life she lived- Cox still tried. Today, for some reason, he did.

Perry couldn't remember this ever happening. He would have remembered the night that his father actually listened to his mother. His jaw unhinged itself as he watched his father release the belt and roughly shove the beaten boy to the ground. The man shuffled towards his wife, grabbing her wrists, he pulled her against him and planted a rough kiss on her lips. As he pulled away he raised his arm and brought it down quickly towards the woman, bringing her to her knees with a gasp. Perry knew she was unconscious when his father threw her nonresponsive body over his shoulder and disappeared down the hall.

"Per?" Paige's shaking voice caught the attention of the bystanders. She was wiping away the tears that were on her face. She knelt beside her brother and hugged him quickly before letting go. It was her silent way of showing her gratefulness. Perry had hated to be touched after he was beaten, the beatings had become more frequent as he aged and eventually, Perry despised any form of touch even after he had escaped the rule of his father.

"You're ok, right?" Paige nodded as she sat down besides her brother as her hand gently combing out her hair as she watched his movements from the corner of her eye. The two kids sat on the floor staring out the door, both of them in their own world, their own method of escaping the harsh reality of what had happened and what would be the condition of their mother the next morning. Shaking his head, his red curls shaking wildly with the movement, the younger Perry pulled himself to his feet, looked his sister over once before he turned to face his bed. "Let's get some sleep. It always make the time go faster before he has to leave again." Perry mumbled as he held out his hand to help Paige to her feet.

As both kids curled up under their blankets in their respective beds, Perry leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets as he stared into the eyes of himself only thirty years earlier. He knew that the boy was not going to go to sleep, that he would stay awake to insure that his sister was ok, but he wouldn't admit it. He'd just doze off once his old man left. The boy was only ten, meaning that Paige had to be eight and it wouldn't be another seven years before Perry finally ran away.

"I think we're done here." Perry looked over his shoulder and nodded at Chancy. He was surprised to see the tears shimmering against the man's cheek and it formed a knot in his own stomach. No tears had fallen from his eyes, let alone formed in them. Had he become desensitized to his own life? Even with all the memories flooding his mind, he had not cried, he had only been angry. He just wanted to leave.

"Its about time you came to your senses, Chancy." Perry snorted as he felt the hand on his shoulder, an odd tingling sensation forming in the pit of his stomach.

He just wanted to leave the scene in front of him. Forget what he had seen, forget what he had lived. It was the past and it needed to stay where it belonged.

In the past.

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**A/N:**_ I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. My semester just started up again, so the posts might take a little while to get up. Pls. R&R lemme know what you guys think._


	5. Open Your Eyes to Today

**Disclaimer:** blah blah blah, I don't own Scrubs.

_I know it's February, so the whole holiday season has gone down the crapper...but still its always nice to sing carols in July, no? But I wanted to say THANK YOU to everybody who's commented (_sailorselene, CheetahLivdaflippnay, Trippy3, & Dr. Divinity Cohen)_ and to everybody who's read so far._ **

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My Wonderful Life

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**Ch 5:**

**Open Your Eyes to Today**

The apartment was empty. Perry knew it wasn't his own apartment, and he vaguely recalled having been there once before. The couch that he was standing besides was covered in wrappers of donuts and junk food, candy necklaces and beer bottle tops. He assumed by the half eaten candy necklace wrapped around the neck of the beer bottle, that somebody was either rather tipsy or completely bored and he pitied the person who would have to pick up after the girls who had made the mess.

He thought it was girls, he was pretty sure, but he couldn't stop thinking of JD when he saw the necklace on the bottle. A smile threatened the corners of his mouth at the thought of the incompetent puppy that had miraculously achieved becoming a doctor and surviving his internship and residency.Always smiling that goofy smile, and the few times he wasn't he just looked so much like a kicked puppy that Perry couldn't- A quick shake of his head, a hand roughly pulling itself down his face and Perry was back to thinking about how he could manage to kill Chancy for making him watch a night from his childhood.

The self proclaimed guardian angel had been rather shaken by having to watch the events himself. Which meant his punishment from Perry wouldn't be as strong had he been an emotional zombie like Perry had been. But he had decided to leave the doctor at this apartment to wait for somebody, which caused Perry to hate the secrecy.

"Baby? Bambi?" A familiar female's voice called as the door to the apartment opened. Perry looked over at Carla as she entered the apartment. She had two bags in her hands as she gave the still apartment a once over with her eyes from where she stood. She groaned and shook her head as she headed to the room closest to the TV and farthest from the entrance.

"Carla, you always cease to amaze me with how stunningly beautiful you are." Perry stated knowing that his words would fall as nothing but a slight breeze against her ears. He smiled as he thought of what he could do with the fact that he was alone in the apartment with Carla. He could have some fun messing with Gandhi's head. But that was going pretty low for-Perry spun around and covered his face, grateful that nobody would see the dark shade of red that had become his face.

Carla walked into the living room in a very sexy little number that would be hard for Perry to forget. She had a red silk robe on that reached mid thigh, but being untied, showed that she was wearing matching bra and panties, which he was almost positive was a thong. There was a choker necklace around her neck that was black with a little white trim that matched the fluff that outlined the waistline and seams of her lingerie.

Damn Gandhi to hell and back. But damn the fact that Perry had witnessed just a glimpse of the Latina sex kitten and the fact that although she were gorgeous and extremely attractive, she was dressed up for the damn scalpel jockey. He felt a pang of jealousy at how she was going out of her way to make their Christmas Eve special after working a long shift at the hospital. Now he wanted to kill Gandhi for not being there to greet her.

" Baby, where are you?" Carla's voice was the only thing that Perry allowed himself the privilege of sensing other than his sudden fixation with the ceiling. Damned if he was going to stare at her again, he was already going to have to gouge his mind of this image so he could see her in her scrubs at work. Not turning a corner and having Naughty Nurse Mrs. Santa walking towards him. That might cause some unnecessary tension between the only person he thought was sane in the hospital.

"What do you mean apple thief?" Carla was tapping her fingers on the counter in the kitchen as she fiddled with two champagne glasses before going into the fridge for a bottle of something. The familiar clinking sounds let Perry know what she was doing. He was too familiar with alcohol and its accessories to find the need to look when he knew he was right. "Please tell me that you and Bambi are not bothering Elliot. I know Rowdy isn't…No, Turk, I'm glad Dr. Cox didn't answer his door, but that doesn't mean you can go and-Hi, Bambi." Carla was beginning to become frustrated. Perry could only assume that the two girlfriends were taking turns talking on the phone.

What the hell were they doing at his apartment with that damn stuffed dog? Perry shook his head as he couldn't help the laughter that was forming as he listened to the irritation in Carla's voice.

"No, Turk, if you want to stay out all night you can. Don't worry about the fact that its Christmas Eve and your wife is at home _wearing_ your present."

_DAMN!_

Perry couldn't help staring at the woman now. His eyes focused on her face, a proud smile spread across her face that he knew he wore as well. That was the way to get her boy to listen. Let him know what he's missing when he's out with his girlfriend.

Perry never could understand how Carla put up with the oddly homoerotic friendship between her husband and his best friend-Perry's shadow, Betsy.

The door to the apartment swung open, giving Perry only a second to register Carla's retreating figure pause in the doorway to her bed room. She looked over her shoulder at Turk who stood, panting, in the entrance to the apartment. JD was right behind him with a confused look on his face. As he looked up, Perry could see the blush blossom across his face along with realization.

"Are you coming?" Carla asked as she disappeared in the room. Perry had to admit, the woman could work it and she was good at it. Perry pulled his legs to his chest instinctively as the surgeon jumped over the back of the couch and darted into the room. He stopped and looked at his best friend with a smile, than did some little jig which could only be his 'A _brother's __gonna__ get some sex'_ dance before he disappeared behind a now shut door.

Perry sat on the couch, staring at JD who stood in the kitchen, not sure if he should stay or leave. Perry knew personally he wanted to leave, he really didn't want to know anything about Carla's sex life, but Chancy hadn't come back to the apartment like he had said he would.

The sound of the door closing brought Perry back to his senses. JD had decided to leave. Being that there was nothing left to do, unless he was some kind of sick voyeuristic stalker-such as the man in Clay Aiken's song Invisible_(damn Newbie for his random busts into song in the elevator_)-, he followed suit.

Marissa would have died had she known that Perry was on the back on Sasha with her as she drove across town on Christmas Eve. Perry couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid. All her friends were with their significant other and she was alone with no place to go on Christmas Eve. It tugged at his heart, but Perry quickly smacked down any feelings that were starting to form.

"Where the hell are you going at this ungodly hour, Melinda?" Perry demanded even though he knew the kid couldn't hear him. He leaned forward, knowing that he would have to hold onto the younger doctor in order to stop from falling off. He had yet to fall off and he didn't know how long that would last. He was concerned about going to grab the kid and falling through him as he had when he went to beat his father.

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, asshole!" JD grumbled as he swerved to suddenly avoid a careless driver. Perry gulped as he realized that he hadn't fallen off, he was happy that he wouldn't be forced to hold onto the other man to stay safe.

"Geez, Mary, no reason to be so friendly on Christmas Eve." Perry grumbled while he kept watching the younger man drive the scooter. His mind wandered as he watched the unfamiliar buildings pass by. He wondered when they would reach their destination and how long it would be until Chancy came back so they could finish this little outing.

JD's laughter brought his unknown passenger back to the present. Perry could hear the resonance of some deep ringing sound. Quirking an eyebrow he looked around for the object making the noise. When he saw nothing, he made a point to ask JD about it when he was at work with the boy again. That was, if he decided that continuing with everything was worth it. If he decided to go back to work and let the boy hound him and all the other interns and residence follow him and stop him from relaxing.

"You go Chocolate Bear!" JD cried jokingly as if the other man could hear him. Perry was definitely confused. Did he hear that correctly? He wasn't sure if he understood what had happened. If he was correct than somehow Turk had let JD know that he had gotten some action. The age of these two kids caused Perry's head to ache as he tried to remember what age the kids were supposed to grow out of this immature phase.

_How the hell did he get a gong to sound all the way across town?_ Perry pondered as JD pulled the scooter to a stop outside of the hospital. Perry stared at the boy in shock. He shouldn't have been surprised that the boy would go to the hospital.

Was he really planning on trying to sleep in the on call room? Surely Bobbo would kick the kid out.

The kid wasn't that pathetic was he?

Perry rolled his eyes at his moment of insanity. Thinking Newbie wasn't a pathetic little girl who had nowhere better to go when all her friends left to be with their loved ones.

JD stared at the entrance, shook his head, and pulled away. Perry smiled as they pulled up a few more blocks away from the hospital. Perry knew this was around the area that the kid had purchased a field where he'd had a porch placed.

Wasn't he forever kicking off some old gay men?

Perry's question was answered as JD started shouting at the group of flamboyantly dressed elderly men drinking and partying on his deck. Perry laughed as the elderly men ran away from the skinny doctor's cries.

JD sighed and curled up on the lawn chair. Perry sighed as he walked up the steps and took a seat on the lawn chair besides JD. He looked down at the boy and rolled his eyes. The younger man had fallen asleep quickly. Perry could see JD starting to shake from the cold December wind. There was a blanket lying under the table and he wondered why Newbie hadn't grabbed it before going to sleep. He hadn't seemed that tired when he drove from Turk's apartment.

"You know you can pick that up." Perry looked around and saw a shadowed figure sitting on the edge of the deck. He couldn't tell anything about the person except that the voice was definitely that of a man, or a woman who was in the process of becoming a man, or had been smoking for far too long.

"C'mon, Perry, I know you're heartless, I mean you did marry Jordan. Still, you can't hate the kid that much." Perry narrowed his eyes as he cautiously got up and walked towards the blanket. Bending at the waist, Perry gasped a little as he felt the material bunch up in his fist. Never taking his eyes off the shadowy figure as he straightened his posture, he took a few steps backwards back to JD's sleeping form. Laying the blanket over the body, Perry smiled as JD mumbled quietly in his sleep. Perry's hand brushed a bang out of JD's face, before he stopped himself and stuffed his hands quickly in his jacket pockets and turned on his heels to face the figure.

"You plan on coming into the light at some point, Chancy?" Perry inquired. His face taught as he tried to think of how long the man had been sitting there or if he had followed the two doctors from Turk and Carla's.

"I'm not Chancy." The voice sounded kind of hurt, but Perry couldn't help but recognize the voice. He kept watching the figure as it slowly stood. Perry knew the odd slant of the shoulders, the familiarity of the person's height and gait together, all the person had to do was come a few steps closer to let Perry confirm the suspicion. He held his breath as the man stepped into the light.

"No fucking way." Perry shook his head and whistled quietly. There was no way that he was right. Now he knew he must have drank way too much of his scotch before falling asleep and all he was doing was dreaming everything that had happened with Chancy up to this very minute.

"Perry, that is so not the greeting I was expecting." Familiar laughter met Perry's ears and he couldn't help the relaxed smile that swept across his face.

"Well, Benny-boy, how would you react when your dead best friend and ex-brother-in-law appears out of nowhere." Ben chuckled as he put an arm over Perry's shoulders. The two men smiled at each other. Slowly they leaned forward.

Lips puckered.

Faces inches from each other.

Warm breath brushed against the other's cheek.

Perry pulled away.

"I WIN! I will always win gay chicken! I own your ass, Perry!" Ben did a happy little dance as he smiled at the defeated look on Perry's face.

"Ok, Ben, I get it. Let's rub it in my face a little more after I figure out why that stupid pixie hasn't returned yet." Ben laughed and shook his head.

"Chancy had to step out of this; watching you with your past as too much for him. He's at his shrink's." Perry rolled his eyes and looked at Ben in disbelief. "Yeah, I know, you drive even angels crazy. You're such a nut. But," Ben glanced at JD's sleeping form before turning back to face his best friend. "He thought it'd be best if somebody who knew how to handle you came down. He's still going to get the credit, but-"

"Handle me?" Perry spat out in a mixture of confusion and anger. "In the name of wha-aaah-t-eeeeh-ver may be playing this fucked up checkers game gives that pixie the right to hand the _leash_ over to somebody that can handle me? Where does he get off thinking I'm some kind of dog?" Perry's reddened face was met by Ben's nonchalant and calm expression.

"C'mon, man, he's not thinking of you that way. In fact he was thinking of his own sanity and physical well being. He was so sure he could stick this out the whole night, he wanted to so bad, but whatever happened with your dad scared the shit out of him. Which means, I'm the only one up there who thinks that you're still needed down here and is willing to actually put up with your hard headed, Irish temper." With one arm across his chest, and the other holding his chin against his fist, Ben smiled at Perry's frustration before continuing. "Besides, with what's coming, you'll need the help of your favorite dead guy."

"What do you mean, what's coming?" Perry looked over at the sleeping figure to make sure that the sleeping figure couldn't hear them. "C'mon, Benja-reno. You can tell me." Ben shook his head and looked at Perry with a sad smile, which had only been seen by Perry's eyes when he was told he was going to die.

"No, Per, this is something you have to do for yourself. It's there already, the seed's been planted, you just have to let the sun get to it and let it grow." Perry rolled his eyes as he sank down into the chair besides Newbie.

"When did you become one for the horrible metaphors, Ben?" A sigh escaped the doctor's mouth as he leaned his head back.

"We have to get going." Ben offered his hand to help his friend up. "We have a time limit, and you have a few places you have to see before you can go and off yourself at the right time." Ben frowned as he glanced at JD's sloppy grin. "Geez, that kid must have been wasted before he got here. I can't believe you actually drove with a drunken JD." Perry laughed as he avoided looking at the sleeping man on the chair next to him.

"Don't remind me." Perry groaned as he took the hand offered to him. The two men stared at each other, a knowing grin spread across Ben's face as he looked at Perry. With a raised eyebrow and a cautious expression, Perry narrowed his eyes and focused on Ben.

"I don't know what's going on in your head, brother of Satan, but we need to go finish this whole thing up before you turn into a pumpkin. Or whatever the dead turn into when their time expires." Ben laughed as he wrapped his arm around Perry's shoulders.

"Our first stop is to see my wonderful banshee of a sister and my favorite nephew." Perry's heart leapt at the idea of seeing his son and he didn't know what to think about being unable to hold his son when he saw him and the fact that his son would have no idea that he was there.

Before Perry could say another word, he was standing in the middle of Jordan and Ben's mother's house.

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_Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, lemme know what you thought._

**A/N:** _I could have sworn I'd had Chancy say that it's kind of Dickens' Christmas Carol meets It's a Wonderful Life. But I must not have, which I apologize for, because of the slight confusion its brought about. Both CheetahLiv and daflippnay mentioned that the inconsistancy with It's a Wonderful Life, so I wanted to throw out there for anybody else who might have been confused as well: Perry is being shown three different time periods, and then he gets to see what his life would be had he never been born, I mean, come on, who doesn't love to tear Dr. Cox down a little? I'll make it up to him, I swearz its!_


	6. Glimpse of What's to Come

Disclaimer: I don't own it nuff said

A/N: there's only a couple chapters left. I'm kind of reworking the last one because I can't make it fit right. You know how it goes with wanting to write something that makes sense...I'm just sooooo picky. Anyways, thanks for reading this far.

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**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch ****6**

**Glimpse of What's to Come**

"Mother, for the love of anything that is holy, get that away from Jack!" Jordan's dislocated voice cried from another room.

"Jordan, it's Christmas Eve. It's not like Percival is going to teach the kid anything about Christmas. He needs to do this." The older woman retaliated.

"Perry doesn't do holidays, Mom, and you know why. But he has been doing great about it for Jacky's sake." The door to Perry's right opened and Jordan walked in carrying Jack in her arms. The boy was wearing a red sweater with a tree and glittery objects strewn across it, a pair of reindeer horns adorned his head which was nuzzled against his mother's neck.

"Oh, and I'm sure you know _how_ much I love the fact that the big oaf decided to be involved with you just because of _your_ Jacky." An older woman followed Jordan into the room and took a seat on the couch facing the illuminated tree. She wore her graying brown hair in a bun, her glasses propped on her nose, allowing her green eyes to focus warmly on her sleeping grandson's face. She wore a large sweater that said "_Number 1 Grandma"_ with a heart in the center.

"To think that woman reared you, Succubus and Satan." Perry grumbled, his eyes not leaving his son's sleeping face. He knew Ben was staring at the family gathering as well. Perry couldn't help the pang of guilt that grew in his stomach. He begged, and pleaded to avoid events like this, and even celebrated when he got out of the event. But seeing Ben staring at the two women and the young boy, Perry couldn't help but wonder how much it bothered Ben that he was unable to interact with his mother, sister and nephew.

"Hey, I must say, she was a ball of spit fire herself." Ben's voice was filled with laughter as he looked at Perry. "Besides I give you props, because, not only did you marry my sister, but you allowed her to pass on her genetics to some unsuspecting child." Perry shook his head as he smiled.

"Ben, why are we here?" The two men didn't make eye contact; they both stared at the women arguing in calm tones so they did not wake Jack. There was no response, and no response was needed. Perry sighed as his shoulders drooped slowly before he turned to face Ben.

"How often?" A small smile threatened the corners of Ben's mouth as he cocked his head in the doctor's direction.

"I don't think I have to answer that, Perry. Besides, why would I let you go into a sentimental feely moment? We have one more stop before we hop in the time machine and see your future." Perry rolled his eyes. He took a few steps and put a hand over Jack's head. He felt his fingers ache at the prospect of not being able to touch the boy's wispy hair, forcing him to pull his hand back into his pockets.

* * *

"I thought you said we had one more stop?" Ben laughed at Perry's bored expression as they leaned against the side of the building. They had been standing there for what Perry was sure over an hour.

"We've been here for less than five minutes. I know standing still for you is a rarity, but just relax." Ben smiled as he watched Perry tense. "You need to be open minded for the future. You have to understand that this is what would happen had Chancy not shown up." Sizing up Ben from the side of his eye, Perry allowed his shoulders to lean back against the wall and sighed.

"Chancy said that I'd be on the sidewalk as Jordan and Jack were coming up." Perry ran a hand over his face as he tried to avoid thinking how traumatic that would be for his son. Hell, he knew it would have some adverse effect on Jordan, but he couldn't help thinking how screwed that would make the poor kid. To have Jordan and him as parents, Jack was already starting out a hard life. Perry did not want to think of what he would do to the kid's mental state if he killed himself, he especially wanted to avoid the thought that the fragile state of Jack's childhood would be shattered if he saw his father fall to his death.

If he was dead, than why did Ben feel he needed to show Perry a future of his son in a padded room?

"Ok," Ben's hand rested on Perry's shoulder as they were suddenly surrounded by a strong wind.

* * *

"DJ, if your girlfriend in there doesn't calm down and focus on who it is that he's cutting into, I swear that Carla will be very disappointed with what I'll do to him." Jordan growled as she pushed JD against the wall outside the OR. JD gulped as he tried to gather his courage in talking to Jordan. His eyes didn't show any fear as he stared at the wild eyed woman. Whoever was in that operating room was definitely important to the woman, or they owed her a lot of money.

Perry couldn't help but be proud of JD for not curling up into a fetal position. Perry eyed the two people, noting that there were subtle differences in both.

Jordan's hair was graying, while the botox treatments she had been having Perry pay for had done nothing for her. She had crinkles forming around the corners of her eyes and mouth, worry lines seemed to know where they belonged on her forehead. Perry had to admit she looked very attractive with the grace of age of a demon.

While JD wore the marks of a doctor who let too much get to him. Perry knew that's how the kid would end up, allowing the stress of the job to work him over. His normally product filled hair was limp with what Perry could only be the signs of a double shift. Newbie wore a long white lab coat, his stethoscope slowly falling from around his neck.

"You can't do this, Jordan. You know that Turk is doing everything he can." Perry had to stop the smirk that was forming as he watched Newbie jerk his shoulders, relinquishing Jordan's hold on him. "If you think that Turk is not doing everything possible to help him, than you need to rethink whatever is going through that head of yours." JD's eyes remained cold as he gestured wildly with his hands, maneuvering Jordan against a chair where she had no other option but to sit.

"DJ-"

"Go ahead and play your little games with me, I can take it, but I swear to you, if you keep second guessing and threatening Turk and Carla, I will make sure that you are taken out of this hospital and not allowed back in, no matter what the results of the operation are." JD ran a hand through his hair before hugging his clipboard to his chest. His blue-green eyes focused on Jordan's brown ones before he slumped against the wall across from her while shaking his head.

"I can't do this again, DJ." Jordan's voice was a whisper. The words that came out were so weak that Perry had to actually do a double look before he realized that she had actually said them. He looked at his ex-wife and saw that she was actually going to start crying. Her eyes were moist and filled with fear, Perry never saw her like this. The strong woman that he had been married to never showed this much vulnerability. The mother of his son would never show weakness to anybody, especially JD.

"I know." JD whispered as he pushed himself up from the floor and moved to sit besides the woman. He looked at the wall as he patted the arm of Jordan's chair. "You're a strong woman, Jordan. You don't need to hear that from me to know it. You married Dr. Cox, and than you two had Jack." Perry caught the twitch of the corner of the younger man's mouth. "The kid's got your guys' stubbornness, but he knows how much his father's death affected you. He's not going to do this to you. It was a mistake, it had to have been." JD sighed as he closed his eyes. Pulling himself to his feet, JD placed a hand on Jordan's shoulder, staring at the top of her head, he opened his mouth to say something. No words came from his mouth; he patted her shoulder and turned to leave the small waiting room.

"How can you be so sure, JD?" Jordan's voice was strained as she fought the tears threatening her.

"Turk's going to page me when he's out, it won't be long I hope." JD nodded. He never looked at Jordan, and she never looked up at him. "I have patients I have to see. If you need anybody, anything, you have my pager."

As Perry watched the doctor's retreating figure, no words could form properly in his mouth. He found himself falling into the recently vacated chair. His eyes focused on nothing as his mind tried to figure out what was going on. Had Newbie said something about somebody dying? Why was he talking so comfortingly to Jordan about Jack? Why was Jordan looking for comfort in JD?

A soft sob brought Perry back to the room.

"Damn it, Jacky, if you don't-" Jordan growled as she punched the arm of the chair. "Fuck you, Perry! Don't you dare take him! Don't take him away from me!" Perry 's head shot up, his eyes meeting the angry hurt glare of a helpless mother. Something strange was going on. Was Jordan aware of him sitting besides her?

"Perry, you want to come see this." Ben stood in the doorway and smiled sadly at his friend, avoiding the broken state his sister was in. Perry nodded and stood up to follow Ben, looking back at Jordan caused a twinge of guilt to settle in his chest. She had lowered her head into her hands as she silently mumbled to herself, the words dying in the air before meeting Perry's ears.

"So are you guys going to get a bonus if I go all soft?" Perry asked as he followed Ben into the occupied OR. "We can't go in there." Stopping in the entrance of the room, Perry stared at Ben's back, shuddering at the idea of having to look at the body that Turk was operating on.

"Ok, that's it." Turk's voice shook with relief as he placed the needle on the tray besides him.

"Dr. Turk, are you ok?" A nurse asked as she sponged the surgeon's forehead.

"I just operated on Jack." Turk stated with a chuckle. "My life was in jeopardy- you're familiar with Jordan Sullivan, aren't you?" The nurse nodded meekly. "Then I don't need to explain why stabilizing this boy was so important."

"Isn't this that doctor's boy? You know the one that jumped a few years ago?" The nurse looked at the sleeping figure on the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, this is Jack Cox, the late Dr. Cox's son." Turk sighed as he peeled his gloves off his hands as he rambled off some medical jargen before heading to wash his hands.

* * *

"DADDY!" A little girl with curly black pigtails ran down the hospital corridor. Her pink jacket trailed behind her as she was lifted into the arms of her father.

"Izzy," Turk smiled as he placed a kiss on the girl's forehead and hugged her to him.

"There's my baby girl." Carla smiled as she kissed her daughter's head and smiled warmly at her husband. "Jack's ok? I mean, you're still here, and Jordan isn't leaving with a police escort." Turk smiled at his wife.

"Baby, who's the best surgeon?" Carla scoffed as she stared at Turk. Her eyes pleading that he was not being serious, only to face a very serious expression from the man, who rested his chin on the top of their five year old daughter's head.

"Daddy's the best." Izzy piped up with a cheery voice when her mother had yet to answer her father's question. Carla and Turk laughed as they both looked at their daughter.

"Hey, baby, where's JD?" Turk looked around the nurse's station. His eyes glazed past the walking figures of Ben and Perry, not even stopping to ponder why two men who had died years ago were walking the halls of the hospital. But it helped with the fact that nobody could see the two men wandering the halls.

"He's doing his rounds." Turk nodded as he kissed Izzy's head again before passing her to Carla. "He stayed with Jordan for most of the operation." Turk looked at Carla and nodded.

"He's got a big heart." Turning back to face his wife and daughter, Turk ran a hand over Carla's swollen stomach before kissing Carla's lips quickly. "Merry Christmas to the most beautiful women on the planet." Turk patted Carla's stomach and grinned boyishly before leaving to find his best friend.

* * *

"FRICK!" Elliot's voice echoed throughout the hall as she tripped over a bed pan. "Where did that-" Elliot's voice trailed off as she saw the door to supply closet slightly ajar. Pulling herself back to her feet, she peeked in, ready to see some intern stressing out about whatever patient that had been given to them.

"JD?" Glancing down the hall to insure that nobody was watching her, she slipped in and shut the door behind her. She faced the back of her friend, her hand clenching into a fist and then relaxing again, she stared at the back of the scrubs. She hadn't seen him wearing scrubs for a while. _'I haven't seen him in scrubs since after Dr. Cox's funeral.'_ She thought sadly before she caught sight of his lab coat was lying on the floor as he leaned against the cabinet.

"JD, are you ok?" She slinked her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. She could hear his breathing, feel him trying to stay in control before he tried to talk. She knew that this was about Jack. Everybody knew he was the first one there when the word went out that Jack was being brought in. It didn't help that it was Christmas Eve. He was supposed to be off, but Doug needed to take the night off. Something about his wife needing help getting around and it being really hard when she was eight months pregnant with twins and looked like she had a giant ball implanted. JD had switched with him and he was now working somewhere in his twenty something hour.

"He fell out a window." JD's voice was calm as he responded, but it didn't stop the tears from filling Elliot's eyes. "It's Christmas Eve and he fell out a fucking window." She wasn't sure who JD was talking about, it had to be Jack, but he hadn't fallen out of a window. He couldn't have. The injuries he sustained were from an accident, but Jordan wouldn't say what had happened. She was too busy threatening anybody who came near Jack's room.

"JD," Elliot was cut off as JD spun around the face her. His face was void of any emotion and he looked her in the eyes.

"We have patients to help." JD tried to push past Elliot, but she pushed him back against the cabinet. He glared at her, but didn't struggle. He looked away, trying to avoid the pain and confusion in the blond doctor's eyes.

"I haven't gotten you in a supply closet for a while, JD." She joked, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"Elliot, please." Elliot sighed as she stared at him.

"No way! You're one of my closest friends. I'm worried about you." She ignored the groan that escaped JD's throat. "You've changed. You are not the same person I knew five years ago. That worries me. I don't know why you were so affected, but you haven't been the same." JD rolled his eyes, earning a shove in the shoulder from Elliot. "He was your mentor, JD, I get that, but-" JD gritted his teeth and looked at the ceiling.

"I was going to," JD sighed, his shoulders slumped as he allowed his head to rest on the shelf behind him. Elliot stared at JD, waiting to hear what their small group had been tossing around for a few years now. "Talk to him about- about something that was bothering me."

"I know, JD. I know Jordan appreciates you helping with Jack." She smiled as she placed her hands on either side of JD's face, allowing her to look at his face, even though his eyes looked anywhere but at her.

"I didn't have a choice. He glued himself to me." Elliot smiled.

"You'd be a great dad, you know that right?" JD raised an eyebrow as he stared at the box of tongue depressants.

" Elliot, I'm married to the hospital, she'll kill me if she finds out I'm cheating." Elliot chuckled as she caught the joke in JD's voice.

"Well, I'm hoping that she'll let you be God-father." JD stared at Elliot in shock.

"How?" Elliot smacked JD's shoulder playfully as she blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"If you don't know how that works, I want to know how you became a doctor." The two friends smiled at each other as they started to leave the room.

Perry stood on the other side, staring at Ben in confusion. Ben just smiled and watched as Elliot and JD walked down the hall. JD pulling his lab coat on as they were stopped by Jordan. They couldn't hear what was being said, but both men were surprised when Jordan hugged JD.

"What the hell was that?" Perry asked as he looked at Ben. "What did Melinda slip into Jordan's system and why is it having such a strange effect on her?" Ben laughed and patted Perry's back.

"You killed yourself. Jack attached himself to JD. She had no choice you know? What do you do when your kid chooses to buddy up to the person that his father ridiculed the most?" Perry glanced at the three people standing on the end of the hall.

"I thought you were supposed to show me Christmases from these different times. Not how people are acting when different things happen. Why the hell was my son on that operating table?" Perry snapped and Ben frowned.

"This is Christmas, Perry. You have to understand what's going on. Jack got hit by a car, because he goes to your apartment every Christmas. Normally JD takes him, but as you see he's been working a lot." Ben smiled as he glanced at Perry. "You don't see how you actually affect this place?" Perry shrugged. "I can't tell you what to do, Perry. You see this for your own good and for the sake of making sure this won't happen."

"Can we leave?" Perry stared at his feet, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. He didn't want to deal with this anymore. He started to walk down the hall towards the three people, but stopped when he saw Turk come running down from the opposite side of the hall.

"JD!" Turk cried as he saw his friend, but stopped as Elliot and Jordan stepped in front of him.

"Why aren't you dealing with my son?" Jordan started blasting a hundred questions at the surgeon as JD walked off down a hall. Perry raised his eyebrow suspiciously. He looked over his shoulder and saw Ben staring at him. Looking back in the direction that JD had gone off in, he took one glance back at Ben before he turned and took off after JD.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing on the roof, Newbie?" Perry asked as he looked around at the cold night sky. JD was staring out at the town, sitting on the ledge of the building he sighed. Perry took a few steps forwards and found himself standing in front of JD.

"What happened to you, kid?" Perry took a seat in front of the solemn man. Hesitating, Perry reached out a hand to brush a stray bang from JD's face. He remembered doing the same thing when JD had fallen asleep on the porch in the cold. JD pushed his hand through his hair and looked back at the door to the roof entrance.

"Stop doing that!" JD's voice was strained as he kept his hands entangled in his hair. "Stop it, please." His voice cracked as he looked around the roof as though he was searching for something or some one.

"Newbie?" Perry eyed the boy suspiciously, but jumped a little when JD stared in his direction with a paled expression.

"Dr. Cox?" Stopping his jaw from falling, Perry straightened his posture as he gave JD one of his looks.

"Melinda, can you hear me?" JD didn't move. Perry couldn't believe how glad he was that JD didn't respond. He didn't know what to expect if the other doctor had said something. Explaining that Ben was dragging him on some kind of Dickens-esque night from hell would have been difficult.

"Hey, Scooter." JD jumped as the man behind him placed his hand on his shoulder. JD's fingers grasped at the ledge, ensuring that he was still sitting on solid ground. As he looked up towards the Janitor's eyes, JD swore he saw Ben walking across the roof with a scowl on his face and his arms flailing around. He shook his head he must have been more tired than he'd thought.

"Are you trying to kill me, Janitor?" Janitor shook his head.

"I told you before, annoying doctor, this is your one day a year I won't bother you." JD's face relaxed while both Perry and Ben's faces showed their confusion.

Ben had been relieved to find Perry up here with JD, but was surprised by the look of fear on Perry's face as JD's words had reached his own ears. Ben knew on rare occasions somebody would see him, but he never thought that the person would be JD. He'd always allowed himself to be seen by Jack, because he needed to let the boy know that his uncle watched over him.

"We have to leave now, Perry. You might have jeopardized everything if the kid saw you." Ben snapped, his eyes never leaving the sight of JD and the Janitor talking. He knew that Perry would start becoming short tempered and angry. The man had started to seem out of character and almost seemed concerned. Ben wanted to tell him what he knew and why it was important for Perry to change his plans, that the future that Perry was shown did not come to be.

"Melissa's got too much on her shoulders." Perry mumbled as he stared at the tense back of his protégé. Tired eyes looked in Perry's direction , almost as though they could tell he was there. Perry shook his head, pushing away the idea that Newbie could see him. Ben's hand brushed his shoulders, catching the doctor's attention. The two men turned and started towards the door, one intent of leaving the scene and finishing his job, the other unsure as to his own feelings about this future.

"-having dreams about dead angry doctor?" The end of Janitor's question was like a punch to both Perry and JD's guts.

Ben had taken at least five steps before he realized what the Janitor had said and another five before realizing that Perry had stopped. When he turned he saw Perry staring at him with a look of confusion. Ben shook his head, grabbed Perry's arm and before Perry could register what was happening, found himself standing before his old childhood house.

"Back to square one, Per." Ben whispered. Perry glared at Ben, his gut twisting into knots, his mind racing with anger and fear, his stomach churning at the prospect of returning to the scene he had left mere hours earlier. "Before we go in, we have to talk." Perry faced Ben and nodded.

* * *

Hope you guys are enjoying I'll try to update the last few instalments soon.

R&R


	7. Just a Talk

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Scrubs...but I do love it!!!!_

_Everybody should have a little bit of Holiday spirit this late into the year...Perfect for Saint Pattie's day :D_**

* * *

**

**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch 7:**

**It's Just a Talk**

"Do you have any clue what could happen if JD had seen you?" Perry rolled his eyes as he leaned against the bench in the park. Rain was pouring all around them, but both men were dry. Perry snorted as he remembered a conversation with Newbie about Jordan taking the sun away from him and how he liked the sun because it brought him hope. The thought of the conversation made him wonder about how Jordan had been able to put up with him so long and what Jack would turn out to be if Perry wasn't there to offset all the evil that Jordan would instill in the boy. With all the damn cutsey, girly outfits she made the boy wear; she was shooting to have a man hater who would wind up being gay.

The thought of somebody being gay didn't bother Perry, even the thought of his son being gay. Hell, he would be glad, especially if it rubbed Jordan the wrong way. He could just imagine the look on Jordan's face when Jack brought home a guy. Only, he knew that Jordan would wind up blaming it on Perry. Probably some retort about Perry being in the closet and having passed on his secret lifestyle to their son.

"And you're ignoring me while you're off in some little dream world. For Pete's sake, Perry, you don't get what we're doing for you. Do you understand what we've shown you?" Perry shook his head as he stared at the angered expression on Ben's face. He couldn't remember ever seeing Ben so angry. In fact, there was never a time Ben was angry. Ben was the exact opposite of his sisters. Jordan was the angry she-devil while Danni was some ditsy succubus that stole a man's life and wallet after she seduced them._ How did Newbie escape that fate? Aw, yes, he is not a man._ Somehow Ben had managed to be the happy go lucky guy, who had died too early.

"Well, gee wiz, Ben, I'm sorry for not getting the happy moral of the story here. All I'm seeing is pain and hurt and than people acting differently." Sarcasm was always a good defense, a good shield to hide behind when he didn't know what to do.

"I'm not somebody in the hospital, and I'm not Jordan, Perry, you can't use the sarcasm to repel me. Tell me what the hell you think we're trying to show you!" Ben glared at his friend, his hands poised menacingly on his hips, his body tense with frustration. "Tell me, Perry!" Perry wanted to shrink back, that was his first reaction, but every other fiber in his body bounced back with his copyrighted attitude.

"Hold on there, Ben," he started as he leaned back against the bench, "you might want to try calming down there." He swiped the side of his nose before crossing his arms across his chest. "We're both grown adults, and there is no reason to be yelling at each other. If you want to know what this whole game has meant to me, than ask me like an a-" Perry was interrupted as Ben's fist collided with his jaw.

Momentarily stunned, Perry couldn't help but smile at the strength of the blow. Holding his jaw in one hand, he pensively eyed his friend and attacker.

"Want to talk about this like adults? Then try dropping the sarcasm, Perry. Try thinking about what we're trying to do here. It's not just you that we're trying to help out." Ben paused, and Perry could see the sorrow and defeat that filled his eyes. "I can't be there. You're a doctor and you should know that you should take any chance to save a life if the chance is given to you." Perry continued to stare at Ben, his eyes unwavering with any emotion.

"I know, but after a while the call gets to be too much." Perry's gaze seemed to focus on Ben's, but Ben knew that he was not registered as the object in Perry's view. "You can't save every life, Ben, that's something we all have to understand when we're in the medical field." Perry blinked before staring into Ben's eyes. Ben winced as he registered the sad look in Perry's eyes, the look he had had when Ben found out that Jordan had been caught cheating. "We're not gods."

Nodding, Ben took a seat besides his friend and stared at the rain. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy that Perry would be able to feel the rain on his skin after he left him. He knew he'd win, Perry had to be able to feel the rain. Ben needed him to feel it.

"Chancy told me that I would see what life had been if I never existed." Ben sighed as he looked at the man staring at him.

"Perry, what have you learned?" Perry rolled his eyes as he rolled his head over his shoulders to face Ben.

"I re-he-he-he-ally don't have time to be playing teacher and student, Ben. Couldn't stand it when Jordan wanted to either." Ben grimaced as he tried to push the image of Jordan in a school girl costume out of his head.

"You're determined to scar me for my afterlife, aren't you?" Ben laughed as he glanced at Perry. The red headed man looked sadly at the jovial eyes looking at him

"Even if I don't end up doing…whatever _it_ is…I, er, well, I just wanted to-" Perry ran his hand over his face again, glancing at anything surrounding him that was not the man to his right.

"Just think about this, Perry: Out of everybody you saw, somehow, for some reason, you chose to show yourself to JD."

"He didn't see me." Ben sighed, thinking it was better to sigh than to turn and smack the back of Perry's head.

"You don't know the signs. If that guy in the jumpsuit wielding the mop didn't show up…" Ben shook his head.

"Newbie wasn't himself." Perry mumbled, running his hand over the wet bench.

" That's how he's going to be if you go through with what you were planning. People would be affected by your suicide." Patting the other man's knee, Ben stood up. "C'mon, we're almost done. One more stop." Perry nodded and stood to follow Ben.

"To the nightmare house." Perry joked as he walked behind Ben.

"No, somewhere that will be sure to make an impact." Ben stated as he shook his head slowly. Causing Perry to stop and stare at the retreating figure of the other man.

* * *

It was dark, and the sky was cloudless. Perry hated graveyards. It was the one place filled with people, and they never talked to him and he never talked to them. It should be the perfect place for him, but he hated them. All the death was exactly what he worked to avoid.

"Perry," Ben's voice reached the other man's ears from three rows down. He motioned for Perry to come see the grave he stood at. Sauntering over, Perry didn't pay much attention to the graves. He kept telling himself that theses people were all just decaying six feet below and there was no way that he could have saved all of them from the imbeciles they called their doctors.

Stopping next to Ben, Perry looked at his friend's face while his hands were shoved calmly in his pockets. Ben just stared down at the ground, his shoulders drooping without their normal joyfulness. At first, Perry didn't see what Ben was staring at.

There was empty ground.

That was odd, Perry looked to the left and right and saw the two stones to either side of the empty spot where the stood. Perry knelt down and brushed some of the weeds away. There was a placard. Perry rubbed at the stone trying to read the name. His eyes focused on the name as the rain drops fought to mask it from him.

He fell back, grateful for the fact that he could not feel the water or the fact that he was sitting in a mixture of mud and water and whatever else was floating in the dirt. He didn't look at Ben, he couldn't. He pushed himself forward to rip the overgrown grass from the small grave. Touching the name slowly, Perry couldn't stop the knot that started in his stomach.

"How the hell," Perry started as he finally looked up at Ben. "It can't be." He stared at the placard again, willing whatever forces worked above to stop playing such a horrid joke on him. He blinked his eyes shut, staring at the name and dates on the stone:

_**Paige Cox**_

_**4/22/1965-9/3/1974**_

"She was fucking nine years old." Perry whispered, his fist slammed into the ground, but did not disturb any puddles that had formed. His mind raced trying to remember what could have happened when Paige was nine. What had killed her.

He kept drawing blanks, the only thing that came to his mind was that their father had gone too far in a beating, but why hadn't he been the one buried beneath this stone.

"She died from head wounds. They don't know how she got them, supposedly she fell down the sta-" Perry glared at Ben, his eyes filled with anger.

"We didn't have any stairs in that hell hole!" Perry lowered his head again, shaking it as he tried to think of some way that seeing his sister's grave could have an affect on him.

"You broke your arm." Ben said as he knelt besides his friend, his eyes staring at the grave. Perry understood what Ben meant. Perry took all the beatings when he was a child. The physical pain had helped him to be the man he was today. The man who hid his emotions behind a wall of sarcasm and held anybody who cared for him at arms length. The man who put on a mask to make it so that people fear him. The man who hated the fact that his sister went to the religious fanatics to save herself, but-would never admit this fact to any living soul- envied the fact that she was able to live through their childhood and come out so strong. Even if she found her strength in some imaginary being that had caused millions of people to gain free money off of mass groups of people thinking that Big Guy in the sky would make them healthier-but they always died if they didn't come to people in Perry's line of work.

"Collect yourself, Per, the next stop isn't going to be nice." Perry looked up at Ben and nodded as he pulled himself to his feet. The men walked quietly through the gates of cemetery. Neither looked over their shoulders, Perry reminding himself that this was not real and Ben hiding a smile for seeing some movement towards his goal.

"Carla, can you help me out?" Elliot leaned against the nurse's station holding a file out to the nurse. Brown eyes studied the blonde intern suspiciously before she leaned forward.

"What's going on, Dr. Reid?" Carla asked, her eyes following the surgeon who walked down the hall. Elliot glanced over and smirked as she saw the surgeon wink at Carla. Turning back and smiling as her shoulders danced back and forth.

"Oh, Carla, you-" Elliot stopped midsentence as Carla glared at her. Placing a finger in front of the intern's face, Carla lowered her voice so Laverne and the others at the nurse's station wouldn't over hear her.

"Listen, Dr. Ried, my personal life is not something you can go and comment on and if you're going to make any remarks as though we're friends, than you need to stop before you get completely lost. We're not friends, Dr. Reid, and we never will be." Carla paused to push her hair out of her face. "I heard you talking to the doctors in the OBGYN ward, when are you transferring?" Elliot squeaked as her blonde hair spun around her head as she looked around the hall before leaning in towards the nurse. Her smile growing across her face at the chance of talking with the nurse.

"H-how…Frick!" Elliot shook her head before trying to start again. "Next week. I'm going to get more shifts in that department and Kelso's going to faze me out of here." A pleading expression filled the intern's face. "Please, Carla, don't say anything." Carla nodded as she opened the file.

Perry stared at the two women and crossed his arms over his chest. "You mean, Barbie is joining the cheer squad?" Ben laughed. Perry knotted his hands together behind his head and rolled his eyes. "What the hell happened to make her do…_that_? Answer this, Ben," Perry glanced towards his friend who was staring at him with a knowing grin. "Is there any way I can get her to do that in my reality?" Lowering his hands to his side, Perry looked at Ben with a smile. "You gotta give me a bone here, Ben. What foul beasty do I need to kiss to make Barbie go the way of the cheerleaders. I'm not afraid. After all, I did marry your sister." Ben cringed as he tried to stifle his laughter.

Elliot smiled and thanked Carla as she walked away, leaving Carla to turn and start talking to Laverne and the two other nurses sitting at the station. Perry leaned against wall, staring at the nurses with an amused expression. Seeing Carla without Turk, Elliot, or JD was different and he had to admit it made him miss the years they had before those kids showed up. But Perry could see the look on Carla's face as she talked with Laverne and didn't even blink as Turk walked by and stood besides Perry.

"Excuse me, ladies, but can I borrow a pen?" Turk tried to be sly as he looked at Carla. Perry only snickered as Carla rolled her eyes before handing a pen to the surgeon. "Hey, Beautiful, do you want to get lunch sometime?" Turk asked before he took the pen, earning a snort and one of Carla's infamous _you're not seriously thinking you have a chance_ look. Perry knew that one, he was used to it.

"I'm kind of seeing a surgeon and I'm not sure he'd like his intern trying to get me on a date." Turk lowered his head and nodded, thanking her for the pen and left. Watching the man leave, Perry wondered where Newbie was. Normally Turk would be saying something about his Vanilla Bear, Elliot should have been in a supply closet with the annoying kid, or the Janitor should be torturing him. Glancing to his left, Perry saw that the Janitor was in fact hassling Nervous Guy.

"At least there's something normal about this place." Perry shrugged as he watched a gurny being strolled in. Carla and two doctors Perry didn't recognize followed it into another room. Perry grabbed the schedule from behind the counter, but realized he wouldn't be able to hold it. Vaulting over the counter, Perry looked at the paper as it passed through his mind why he couldn't touch the paper, but could touch the counter so he could jump over it and sit in a chair. He looked it over three times, grumbling to himself how there had to be an error. There was no listing for JD, no listing for a John Dorian.

"Ben, what the hell is going on?" Perry looked over at his friend who had not left his place against the wall. Walking over to him, Perry crossed his arms over his chest. "Where's Judy? Why isn't she on the schedule?" Ben shrugged. This only aggravated Perry more. He wanted an answer. He wanted to see JD. See that there was more normalcy in this place, that he didn't play that great of a role in these people's lives.

"Why would you care, Perry? Wouldn't the hospital be better with out him?" Perry glared at Ben's calm demeanor. There was no reason in the Doctor's head for his best friend to be hasseling about the kid he swore had taken up a position as his lap dog rather than a Doctor. "Why do you care, Per? Does that boy actually matter to you that he might not have made it without you? That being such a hard ass, you still had enough impact on him to keep him in the field?" Ben slid his hands in his pockets before looking back at the nurses' station. "Why would that kid want to strive to be a better doctor? Why wouldn't he make it if you weren't there? Take a look at how these people are living without you." Ben jutted his head in a semi-circle motion, acting as though he didn't notice Perry watching with a perturbed expression. "It wasn't just JD that kept everybody together, somebody kept JD here. Just think about that, Per." Ben smiled as he made eye contact with the red headed man. "Sometimes it isn't bad to be a girl."

"Are we done now, Ben?" Perry swiped at his nose before crossing his arms across his chest and steadied his gaze on the other man. "For a minute there, I thought you were trying to make it seem like I was more important than Alicia. That I actually-" Perry stopped as he watched Ben's expression sadden as his eyes followed the blonde woman who walked swiftly into a room on the opposite side of the hall. Perry glanced over and noticed the two women walking by: Jordan and Dani.

" You miss them like hell there, don't ya?" Ben nodded curtly as he kept his eyes on the door that the blonde doctor had disappeared behind. Perry stared at his ex wife and sister in law and couldn't help but smile at the fact that she seemed so happy without ever having known he existed.

"If the thought even starts to cross your mind about her being better off without you I will let you jump off the roof." Perry stared at Jordan and shook his head. He knew exactly where Ben was coming from and no matter how blissful Jordan looked without having been tainted by him, Perry knew it wasn't right. He knew this because he remembered the smiles she would fight to hide when she would wake up to Jack crawling into bed with them, or when Jack would cry out for her, every time he saw her, in such a happy voice it was as though he hadn't seen her for years.

"Jack." Perry let his son's name cross his lips as though it were the one thing that he knew would fix everything, like Jack had sat there and showed Perry what was important in life. As though everything in his life had been nil until Jack was born, until JD's little friend let slip that Jack was his son.

"Do you want to see JD?" Ben asked cautiously, acting though he hadn't heard Perry's utterance. Silence was the answer that meet his ears, and he knew that the red head needn't think of the answer for long. So he started to walk towards the room where Jordan stood, not caring if Perry had realized he was alone, because he would follow shortly.

Which he did.

* * *

"Perry, man, you've got to be kidding me!" Ben laughed as he patted the bent back of the red haired doctor. "You're a doctor and you seriously want to tell me that made you sick?" With narrowed eyes, Perry chanced a glare at the man rubbing his back before he was forced to turn his head and heave into the puddle that he had formed.

"Dr. Turk!" Elliot cried as she ran up to the surgeon and handed him a file. "You know him don't you?" Turk eyed Elliot before opening the chart. His eyes glazed over the information listed and he nodded.

"Yeah, I know JD. He started out here-" Elliot nodded as she cut Turk off.

"I remember him, the one that always stared off. He was trying so hard. He would have been good." The two doctors nodded with a sad look on their faces. "I just thought I'd let you know that he was brought in last night after being hit head on in an accident: Scooter versuses Hummer and the Hummer one. He's not going to make it much longer." Turk nodded as he understood what Elliot was trying to get to.

"Thanks, Dr. Reid." Elliot nodded as she placed a hand gently on Turk's forearm.

"We could always go get a coffee and talk about it if you need?"

"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick again!" Perry moaned as he watched the scene unfold between Turk and Elliot. "Are you going to tell me that Gandhi gets together with Barbie?" Perry stared at Ben, willing him to tell him it wasn't so only to receive a shrug.

"I told you already, Perry. Now get up. There's one more stop." The man obeyed and soon they found their way walking along the bustling halls of Sacred Heart. In the distance, Perry could hear the sound of a patient coding, his instincts screaming to go help them, but Ben's hand on his shoulder stopped him from straying from the path.

He watched as both Elliot and Turk's faces fell in fear as they ran back towards the coding patient's room. Jordan and Danni glanced at the doorway where the doctors had run, but shrugged it off before continuing their conversation.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the nurses' station. I swear, it's a hospital and I can't find any nurses around here to help me out." Jordan looked at the man staring at her. His blue eyes filled with urgency as he waited for the response. He ran a hand through his black hair before shaking his head and leaning over to see who was in the room besides him.

"Johnny?"

Perry refused to look, his stomach threatening to heave again as he heard Dan's body slump against the door frame as a door clicked shut.

"Little brother?"

* * *

_AH!!!!! I have been swamped with this sudden arrival of assignments and test that my teachers call March-yuck! There's only two more chapters and I'm going to try and post them up ASAP. Sorry for such a long delay in this posting. _

_R&R :)_


	8. Questions, Answers, Decisions

Just wanted to apologize for the sudden disappearance of this chapter. and thanks to miki-miki-omo for catching it for me. Thank you for still reading and enjoy the chapter.

**My Wonderful Life**

**Ch 8**

**Questions, Answers, Decisions**

They were on the roof staring at the beautiful town outstretched below them. Perry glanced at Ben, but stopped as he had to readjust to gaze a few inches shorter than what Ben had stood. In Ben's place stood Chancey. Perry's eye brows twisted in confusion as he looked around, desperately trying to see where Ben had gone again. He wouldn't allow Ben to leave a second time without a proper farewell.

"I'm sorry I did that to you, Perry." Chancey started, his hand finding its way onto the doctor's shoulder. "I had to think of somebody you would listen to. This is a nifty little trick that we get to use on our," pausing as he took in the man's profile, "tougher cases." Perry grunted while he continued to stare, his brain trying to put the pieces together. "You're a pretty hard egg to crack, Perrino."

Chancey made his way to the ledge of the roof and glanced down, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked back at the still bewildered man.

"I took on Ben's essence so that you would think I was Ben. It worked, though, I wouldn't be so cruel as to pretend to be somebody and not let you really see them, but I just want to know what you learned." Chancey was standing a few inches from Perry's face, eyes boring into his head as the angel implored the doctor to understand what they had been doing and accept it for what it was. Accept that he couldn't go through with his original plans. Chancy was unsure as to how the red headed man would react to the trickery, but he knew he had to do something to insure that Perry wouldn't jump.

Closing his eyes, Perry inhaled deeply before squeezing the bridge of his nose. Shaking his head, Perry lowered his arms to his side before looking back into the watching gaze of the older man.

"Why Newbie?" Perry's words were a breathy whisper that barely reached the angel's ears, but still were strong enough to surprise Chancey.

"I don't understand."

"Why would you show me JD and continually torture the guy? Show him as a shell, why would you let that happen to him?"

"Perry, we've been trying to show you that all night! Without you, people and things-LIVES- are going to be altered." Perry shook his head as he made his way to the ledge, the other man by his side.

"Carla and Gandhi need to be together, and Barbie can't be calm and go into gynecology. That's just not right. It's not how it's supposed to be. That's supposed to be spit fire, frick a lot Barbie, who finds the wrong battles to fight and still fights until she gets a response. That nurse and surgeon are perfect for each other. And if I see JD without a smile on his face one more time, I swear, I'll-" Chancey grinned as Perry's temper rose, his face heating up, his neck already red as the veins started to pulse.

"What? Huh, Perry?" Chancy asked, his hands placed on his hips as he watched the doctor with a quizzical expression on his face. Perry's anger seemed to disappear in a flash as he looked at Chancy, sizing him up from the top of his feet to the top of his slightly balding head.

"When do I see Ben?"

"He'll be here eventually. Can't really interact when he's not sure if he's to take you back and teach you how to still interact with Jack or," Chancy shook his head. "Or the living realm or if he's to be saying 'goodbye' again." Perry could feel the older man eyeing him. He knew that the older man was waiting to hear he was right, but there was something that was bothering Perry about the whole night, about everything he'd seen.

"How did you know about Gay Chicken?" Taking a seat on the roof's ledge, Chancy looked back at Perry with a knowing grin on his face.

"I didn't watch you your entire life to not know the inside jokes and feelings you have for _everyone_." Perry grunted at the idea of Chancy knowing how he felt about people. Of course it'd be an easy guess that Ben was his best friend, everybody at the hospital knew that. But maybe the man had paid close attention, he must have had nightmares nonstop with the life Perry had led.

"Something on your mind?" Chancy asked casually as he looked at the roof door, as if he were expecting somebody to enter at any moment.

"You have more to show me, don't you?" Perry sighed as he finally allowed the words to come out of his mouth. He needed to know what happened with his parents, all the people he'd been raised around. He wanted to know how Paige would have lived if he died. How had JD not stayed in the medical field? How could he be the reason that Gandhi and Carla actually got together? How would Kelso take his death? Would Jumpsuit really give JD a break if he died? Why? How could JD and Gandhi not be glued to the hip at the hospital without Perry there? Why did he keep thinking of JD as JD and not Newbie or any other girl's name?

"Ah, you catch on quickly, grasshopper." Perry glared at the man's attempt at a joke, causing Chancy to shake his head, the smile disappearing quickly. "The last stop will be there for you to make your final decision." Chancy stood up and patted the doctor's arm in a friendly manner before heading towards the door. "You don't have much longer." Perry could hear the metallic sound of the door swinging open on it's hinges. "You coming, Perry?" With a nod of his head, Perry turned and followed the man down stairs.

They walked past Jordan who was watching Turk try to comfort a rather shocked Dan. Perry lowered his eyes at the sight of the two men. If Dan was that shocked then JD must not have made it. Well, being in the state he'd been in, of course JD wouldn't have made it. Perry looked into the dark room as Elliot walked out and motioned for a gurney.

"I called it." She whispered as Turk and Dan looked up at her. Perry felt his stomach drop and he knew that if he had anything left to throw up, he would have. He walked past the blonde doctor, following the gurney into the room and looked at the two interns who were slipping the lifeless body into a black bag. Perry stared at the head that lulled to the right, giving the man a good view. Perry shook his head and walked out quickly.

"Ok, wingless, let's get a move on." Perry spat out, a new air of resolve in his voice as he stormed up to the waiting man. Chancy looked at him and nodded.

0o0o0o

"Perry, I'm taking Jack to my mother's for Christmas Eve dinner." Jordan's voice was calm as she readjusted their son on her hip. Her eyes staring up into Dr. Cox's, knowing that he wouldn't fight her. Dr. Cox rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Let that woman try to dress Jack up as some reindeer again and I'll make sure to take the kid on a binge of strip clubs when he hits eighteen." Brown eyes narrowed into slits as they glared at the nonchalant expression on the redheaded man's face.

"Perry, you seem to think you'll get in, don't they stop letting men into those places once they hit decrepidly old?" Dr. Cox feigned laughter as he smiled at Jordan.

"You tell me, Jordaroo. I mean, I didn't work at one." Rolling her eyes, Jordan kissed Jack's sleeping head.

"Hey, sweety, you wanna say goodbye to daddy?" Jack's eyes shot open as a smile spread across his face.

"Pawy!!!" Jack cried as he saw his father standing before him in his white cloak. Dr. Cox smiled as he ran his hand through his son's thick head of hair.

"Hey there, Jackster." Dr. Cox leaned forward so he was eye level with the boy. "Don't eat too many sweets when you're at Grandma's tonight, ok, buddy?" Jack scrunched his face with disappointment.

"Do the voice, Pawy!" Jack's face smoothed out as a grin replaced the scowl that had been there seconds before. Dr. Cox looked behind him, seeing only Carla at the station and she was pretending to be busy reading the notes on a file. There was nobody else around besides Jordan and Jack. Jordan was waiting patiently, giving Dr. Cox a chance to ponder their son's request before she demanded that he do it for him.

"Well, Jackster, you have a good time with your mom tonight and I'll see you after the fat man's climbed down the chimney tonight, ok?" Dr. Cox coughed as he spoke a few octaves higher than his usual pitch. Jordan smiled approvingly at him as Jack burst into a fit of giggles.

"Ok, Jack, time to go." Jack looked up at his dad with a grin.

"Bye, Pawy." Dr. Cox grinned and mused his son's hair.

"Bye, kiddo." Jack grinned at the fact that his father spoke again in the funny voice. Jordan nodded and walked away, carrying Jack who watched his father turn to talk to the nurse as he looked through another file. He glanced back once, catching his son's stare and nodded curtly as the boy and his mother disappeared behind a corner. Without looking up from the file in his hand, Dr. Cox snarled as he waited for the comment or snicker from the woman now staring at him. When nothing came, Perry banged his head on the file repeatedly before turning to stare at Carla with a glare.

"Oh, my God, Carla, if you even say _anything_ I will, well I don't know what exactly I will do to you, but I can assure you that it won't be pleasant." Carla snickered as she shook her head to get the hair out of her face before settling her infamous attitude filled glare on the doctor.

"You did not just threaten me, did you, Pawy?" Carla asked trying to keep her voice from shaking from the laughter she was trying to hold back. Dr. Cox rolled his eyes with a growl as he turned and stormed off to his patient's room.

The patient was complaining about a headache and some cramps, but overall, the boy was being a whiney little brat that didn't really need to be wasting his time in the hospital and the precious few minutes that belonged to the doctor. He finished quickly with marking the file that nothing new had been done to the patient since the last round. _I wonder why I even bother._ Dr. Cox thought as he turned and headed out the door.

He heard the distinct sounds of two girls chattering away down the hall. To his great pleasure, the extremely girly one was heading his way with a rather dismayed expression. Dr. Cox stopped from his spot in the doorway and watched as the usually happy resident looked at the pager at his hip and quickly turned with a sigh to head down the closest hall.

With one step from his place, Dr. Cox whistled sharply, grinning at the response he won. He could see the resident freeze in his spot, however, he did not turn around like he normally would, nor would the invisible tail start wagging so viciously Dr. Cox was waiting for the kid to get knocked off balance. Instead, the kid's hands balled into fists.

"Holly, what exactly do you think you're doing wandering the halls?" Dr. Cox shoved the file he was carrying against the kid's chest. His hand lingering for a moment before the file was grasped by the owner of the chest. JD looked down at the file in his hand for a moment before returning his gaze to Dr. Cox's.

"I was on my way to check on a patient." JD replied as he handed the file back to Dr. Cox. "Is there something you needed?" Placing his hands in his lab coat's pockets, Dr. Cox jerked his chin towards the file in the younger doctor's hands.

"Will ya be a dear and take care of this kid for me? If I don't get my break I swear there will be heads that roll, and I can't promise that you will be safe from the rampage. In fact, Vixen, I'm almost sure that you might be the first one I come after being that you always seem to ruin my breaks." JD went to open his mouth, but Dr. Cox's pointer finger wagged menacingly in his face before any words could be uttered. "No, no, no, no, we don't try and talk back. I thought you'd figured this out, Newbie. Well, there goes the fact that I actually thought I might give you a little credit." Dr. Cox grinned as JD nodded in defeat. Turning to walk away, Dr. Cox made four steps before he heard a cough come from behind him.

"Dr. Cox, I need to ask you-" Without ever turning around, Dr. Cox merely shook his head.

"Just let me have my damned break, Charity." With that, he swiftly took off down the corridor, disappearing behind a corner. The last thing he needed or wanted was to deal with whatever personal problem the kid was having. He didn't need him to think that he actually cared. There was no reason for anybody to know he might have cared, because, in the end, nothing was the way it should have been. Nothing was there for him to look forward to at the end of the day, or when he woke up in the morning. Nothing left him wanting to open his eyes in the morning, not beg that when he shut them his heart would stop its beating and just let him escape from the constant headaches and depression that was the world. He just needed this little break to forget about _everything_.

When his shift finally ended, Dr. Cox bolted out the door, with no patients who needed him and no annoying interns begging for help as they slowly kill off another patient, he was surprised to make it out on time. He even lavished in the fact that he would be at his apartment alone, no screaming ex-wife, just absolute silence.

As he sank into his couch, Dr. Cox knew it was a lie. He knew he didn't want to be alone tonight, especially tonight. Not on Christmas Eve. It wasn't right. A knot of guilt slowly grew in his stomach as he thought about how Jack and him and never spent a Christmas eve together. He had never seen the look on his son's face when he came into the front room to find the tree hidden beneath a stack of presents with his name written on them; but the kid had never complained.

Not once.

With that thought, Dr. Cox through back his first glass of scotch. Followed by seven more. He coughed as he realized that he hadn't taken full blown shots of the amber liquid in years. Not since Jack had been born, he was trying hard to not drink in front of the kid. God forbid he be viewed as an alcoholic as he viewed his own father. But that didn't mean he didn't enjoy a couple of nursed glasses every so often.

A sip from his next glass, he'd decided to give his mouth a chance to enjoy the flavor and the adverse effects of the alcohol, the flood gates opened in his mind. All the little things that he had pushed away to think about at a later date- or never- came out. And within a few seconds, Dr. Cox knew what he had to do. He quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pen and sat on the edge of the couch, hunched over the coffee table as he swallowed the remainders of his glass in a single gulp.

His hand guided the pen over the paper with precision as his other hand wrapped it's fingers around the neck of his beloved quarter filled bottle of scotch. He brought it to his lips as he quickly jotted his name at the bottom of the letter. His eyelids closed as he took a swig of the beverage. He wondered if this all would be different if he was man enough to confront his skeletons or if his best friend hadn't died from Lukemia years ago.

His eyes now reddened from the large alcohol intake, Dr. Cox folded the letter in half and placed the bottle besides it as he pushed himself to his feet. He took a few swaying steps towards the window and looked out at the brisk December night. There was nobody around from what he could see. Than again, his eyeballs did feel as though they were swimming in a mixture of scotch and tears.

He didn't even stop to wonder when he had started to cry. It had been mere minutes for him to come home and become so depressed that he found himself leaning against the open window sill, contemplating the strength of the impact.

_Knock knock_

He froze in his spot as he heard feet scuttle away, and than grow louder again as they returned after a few minutes. He knew he was in no state to deal with visitors, and he didn't want them to try and talk him out of this. His mind was made up. There was nothing for him to really do in his life except be at the hospital. What kind of life would it be to continually be harassed and live to only save others? To have the person walking in your shadow at work, haunt your dreams at home? At least Jack would have a better childhood.

That was the last thought he registered before he felt the cold air rushing past him. He could hear the distant sound of what seemed like a loud thud with glass shattering. To his trained ear and the sudden flash of pain that filled him, he knew it was the sound of many bones breaking, if not shattering underneath his flesh.

A woman's scream echoed in his ears as he heard feet rushing in his direction. The woman was saying something to a deeper voice. Dr. Cox tried to push away the haze and pain to understand what they were saying. Trying to understand what had happened.

"Oh shit!"

"Did he just-?"

"Perry?"

"We need an ambulance!"

"Pawy?"

"Jacky, look at me, sweety."

"Dr. Cox?" The familiar voices seemed to fight through the haze. "Turk get Jordan and Jack to the hospital." A distant sound of movement. Something stopping close by.

"Dr. Cox? What the hell did you do to yourself, Perry?"

_Perry_

That was the last word that broke through the haze, like a bullet, he could swear he could see the light seeping through the word's path. But the darkness won. At least the pain had stopped.

But he knew he'd made the right choice.

* * *

Did I really just kill Dr. Cox?! meh....well....last chapter just a click away enjoy!!


	9. The Right Choice

Disclaimer: as always I don't own Scrubs...just the count down on my phone for the return of Season 7.

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's the last one and I think I did pretty well with wrapping up the story. Let me know what you guys think.**

**Before going into the final chapter, I wanted to thiank everybody who has stuck through from the beginning with reading this. **

**Now on with the show:**

My Wonderful Life

**Ch 9**

**The Right Choice**

He'd made the right choice, he knew he had.

"I think he's waking up." A gruff voice stated excitedly. Scrunching his eyes shut tighter, Perry just wanted to block out the pain that he knew would hit him in a matter of minutes. No way in the world would he be able to survive that fall and have any amount of morphine keep him out of immense pain.

"Oooh, Perry, you so look like that number seven face on that pain chart thing your interns are always looking at." The voice was familiar, and Perry was sad to admit he was afraid that if he opened his eyes he wouldn't see the face he knew should match it. He would probably strangle Chancy if he'd decided to pretend to be him. Strike that, Perry was certain he'd strangle him.

"Try opening those baby blues, Per." The voice was trying to be all buddy buddy with him, only making the anger inside him start to boil. A low growl came from deep within Perry's chest and he had to smile at the fact that he could hear the intimidated squeak come from Chancy. Slowly opening one eye, Perry shot the other one open as he took in the sight of the two men standing over him.

"Welcome to the world of awakeness, Perry." Ben flashed a cheesy grin at his friend. "So nice of you to join us." Perry merely grunted in response. He was doing a mental check of his condition. Sadly his inner doctor was saying that there was nothing wrong with him. That didn't make sense, and he knew that he should be in immense pain, but the lack of pain supported what his inner doctor was saying- he wasn't hurt.

"B-" Perry coughed as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "Ben, didn't I fall out a window?" Ben glanced at Chancy who was watching Perry's movements.

"Boy, you are not going to break. There is nothing wrong with you." Chancy smacked the doctor's arm to prove what he'd stated; winning a glare from the doctor. "That was an insurance policy on our part." Chancy finished with a grin.

"I can't believe you were going to leave Jordan to raise Jack-alone!" Ben stated as he tried to pull a protective brother stance, only to fail under Perry's gaze.

"Newbie would take care of what I left behind. He'd do anything for me." Ben smirked as Perry realized what he'd said. "Oh, no, no, no you better not be getting any ideas going through that animated cadaver head of yours, Benny boy." Sitting up quickly, Perry pushed back the dizzy feeling that flooded his head as he glared at his dead friend.

"So, what are these skeletons that would have made things better?" Ben asked casually as he sat on the edge of the bed on which Perry rested. Chancy rolled his eyes as he elbowed the younger man before looking back at the doctor with a hopeful expression.

" How's that head feeling, Per?" Perry shrugged as he looked around. "Was that it?" Perry winced as he was met by Ben's disappointed glare.



"You were going to leave _my_ nephew in the hands of JD? Why the hell would you do something like that?" Perry shrugged again which only upset Ben further.

"Oh no you don't!" Chancy's hand was on Ben's shoulder trying to calm the man.

"Ben, calm down." Ben gritted his teeth as he shoved his hands in his pockets. Perry looked at his knees and sighed. He felt like a little kid getting reprimanded for something he was going to do, but had chosen not to.

"You know what my skeletons are; don't you?" Perry asked to nobody in particular. He knew that Ben would have figured it out a long time ago. There had been jokes, subtle jokes where Ben tried to get Perry to admit, but there had never been a reason to admit to the largest skeleton in his closet.

The warm hand on his knee, caused Perry to look up into the knowing eyes of the old man. Perry rolled his eyes and forced a bitter laugh from his throat.

"Sometimes you find love in the most unexpected places." Perry grimaced at the older man's use of the L word. Couldn't he have said Lesbians- hot lesbians having sex….maybe Jordan and Barbie going at it. Perry chuckled at the idea of Jordan tearing into Barbie.

"Perry, Jordan was more of a man than you were in so many ways. Why do you think you were actually attracted?" Ben grinned. "I was kind of disappointed when I saw the kid giving you the once over at work. I was totally going to make my move on him." Perry growled and glared in Ben's direction before he had realized what he was doing. Ben simply laughed, causing Perry to stop and allow the meaning of Ben's words to seep into his head. Cocking his head to the side, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he shut his eyes, hoping that the harder he squeezed the faster the information would process.

"Ben?" Perry finally asked shakily as he opened his eyes. Ben grinned and shrugged.

"I still hate you for always pulling away in Gay Chicken." Perry's jaw slackened at the faint blush that crossed his best friend's face.

"Ben, did you," Perry shook his head as he tried to figure out the words he wanted to say. "Oh, c'mon, Per. You've got a great body and I was a little jealous that Jordy got to bounce it, but the big disappointment was when JD was looking you over constantly. That wasn't that bad, I mean, he could like you all he wanted, but if you didn't want it, than free game, you know." Ben grinned shyly. Perry just watched in amazement. "When I saw you staring at his ass whenever he left a room, I just couldn't get the guts up to go after something that you'd been marking. But that's cool, I still had my camera." Ben grinned as he stretched.

"You never told me." Perry stated in shock as Ben just flashed his boyish grin. Hell, he wasn't even sure when Ben had snuck in and found his denial box, but everything he'd seen in the last night was enough for him to willingly keep his mouth shut and not argue with his friend about something that should have been discussed before leukemia had stolen the other man from the doctor.

"Jordan had a suspicion, but Danni and Mom were in denial. Besides, I wouldn't pull you out of the closet like that." Ben glanced at Perry and smiled. "But now your skeleton's in the sun, 

so you can fix things, right? No jumping out of windows?" Ben's eyes pleaded as Perry jerked his head in an affirming motion winning a smile from the two other men.

"So you better go do something to empty that closet, k, buddy." Ben grinned as Perry nodded again, stretching his arms until he could feel a releasing pop in his joints.

"Hey, Per." Ben smiled as he popped his knuckles, smiling apologetically at his friend. "I have to tell you something." Perry rolled his eyes waiting for some typical Sullivan comment to come out of his friend's mouth, only to blink as a fist collided with his face. He felt himself falling backwards and wished that he wouldn't hear any crunching sounds, screams or machines when he finally opened his eyes.

* * *

Perry's eyes shot open and he looked around his room cautiously. He was sitting on his couch, his empty glass in his hand, an unopened bottle of scotch on the table, the game playing on the television. The clock on the wall read 10:37. He suddenly wished that he could remember how long he'd been sitting on the couch and when he must have fallen asleep to have such a bizarre dream.

"No, definitely not a dream" Perry muttered as he caught a glimpse of Ben and Chancy's faces staring at him from the window.

The idea of sitting on the couch, holding the glass that would normally be filled with scotch by that time and staring at the window brought a nauseating feeling up from the depths of his stomach, that Perry wanted to run to the bathroom and force the feeling from his system. He knew it had to have been an adrenaline rush, but his mind was too busy reeling with the events that he'd witnessed in such a short period of time.

Standing up quickly, and pushing past the wave of dizziness that threatened him, Perry placed the glass on the table. With one hand running through his hair and the other placed on his hip, Perry slowly walked towards his front door, making sure to take in his surroundings.

* * *

"Turk, we shouldn't be here." JD grumbled to his friend as they peeked around the corner, both sets of eyes watching the stuffed elf dog standing outside of the motionless door. JD sighed audibly as he quickly crept to the dog to fix the little hat.

As he readjusted the hat, he smiled as the small bell jingled with the movement. Looking over his shoulder JD offered a defeated shrug towards the other man. Turk's expression fell into a rather disappointed look as he came around to lean against the wall.

JD grinned at his triumph. Picking up Rowdy, JD turned to face Turk. He couldn't help the giant smile that glued itself to his face. The smile wasn't returned. Turk looked as though he'd seen a ghost. Gulping, JD slowly turned his head so he could see what possible nightmare could be standing behind him.

A grunt sounded before JD could focus on the figure standing in the doorway staring at him. Rowdy clattered to the ground as JD stumbled back in shock, tripping over his own feet. A loud cry of shock and pain slashing through the air as he hit the floor, he really hoped it had sounded more masculine to Turk and Perry's ears than his own.

"Noelle, what the hell are you doing?" Perry asked cautiously as he stared down at the dark haired man lying before him.

"R-r," swallowing, he attempted to stop the stutter he thought he'd mastered years ago. "Rowdy wanted to go caroling." JD replied with a childish grin. Perry rolled his eyes and grunted. Offering a hand to the younger man, Perry wish he'd had a camera to catch the look of disbelief that washed across JD's face.

"Run, Vanilla Bear! Get the hell out of here before he goes crazy on your ass!" Turk yelped as he jumped back behind the wall before he could meet Perry's gaze. He quickly came back around when he heard an unfamiliar noise coming from where he'd just seen his friend standing.

Turk's mind was bombarded with the image of him turning the corner to see the red haired doctor turning a well roasted JD on a spit. Shaking his head violently, Turk forced himself to face Perry and JD only to be met with the image of JD taking Perry's offered hand with a very wary expression.

"D-did," Turk walked towards the two men. "Did you just laugh at me, man?" The words came out with a higher pitch than Turk had meant it to. But the fact that JD was standing steadily on his feet with a red tint on his face worried him. As he followed his best friend's gaze, Turk realized that the two men's hands were still clasped together.

"Turk, don't you have a wife to go home to?" Perry's voice was gruff as he grinned with satisfaction as a look of 'oh shit' crossed the surgeon's face. "Candy's gonna stay here tonight. Save her from the sounds of whatever torture you put poor Carla through and attempt to call it 'sex'." Turk and JD exchanged looks of confusion before Turk nodded and ran off down the hall. JD could see his friend's arms flail as he took the corner quickly before he disappeared.

A quick tug of his hand, brought the young man's gaze back to the older hand holding his, the thumb gently rubbing circles on the top of his palm. With an eyebrow raised in curiosity, blue green eyes met blue eyes and a small smile played on the corners of both of their mouths.

"Touching?" JD finally got a word to come out of his mouth, aware of the goofy grin that was now plastered across his face. Perry rolled his eyes and pulled JD into the apartment before slamming the door shut on Rowdy.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Newbie?" Perry released the kid's hand as he made his way to his couch. Sitting down comfortably, Perry watched as JD hesitantly made his way to the couch. He stopped in front of Perry, his eyes watching him with curiosity.

"I," JD paused as he kept looking at Perry's blue eyes. JD groaned as he collapsed on to the couch, his head cradled in his hands as he sighed loudly. "I don't know how to say it. And now I'm all confused." JD complained. Perry groaned as he watched the helpless expression on JD's face. Wanting to do nothing more than reassure JD that although he had a history of asking a plethora of insane questions, that his ear would always be open to hear them-whether or not he wanted to. Than again, if the kid started to go off on some random tangent, Perry could always kiss him.

Shaking his head quickly, Perry glanced over the slumped forward form next to him. He was really going for the out of character moments tonight if he acted the way his mind was telling him to.

"JD?" Perry questioned slowly as he slipped an arm around the kid's shoulders. He jumped a little as JD fell against his chest with a gasp. Their eyes met; a tint of red dancing across JD's face as he smiled up at Perry.

"You know my name." JD whispered and Perry couldn't help but laugh as the red color deepened on the awe struck face before him. "What the hell happened to you?" JD whispered as he tried to furrow his brow and stop the stupid reactions of a high school girl falling into the arms of her secret crush.

"I had some sense knocked into me you could say." Perry grinned. "Now, Natalia, you know better than to not answer my question. What did you want to say to me earlier?" JD gulped as he kept a steady gaze with Perry's. Perry's heart tightened somewhere in his throat, his mouth suddenly felt as though he had been in a desert for years. He waited for JD to say something, because he wasn't sure he could hold back the nonchalant façade he worked so hard at if he had to keep seeing JD so helpless. After what had felt like an eternity, no words had left his pouty lips for what was, more realistically, at least ten minutes. Perry couldn't believe the fact he'd actually gotten JD to not speak.

"You're not going to kill me, right?" JD finally whispered. Perry chuckled as he rubbed his hand up and down the slender shoulders of the younger doctor. He smiled as JD's blush continued to shine brightly. He was content enough to stay like this for a long time, but he wasn't ready to go and admit it to anybody. However, it was Perry's turn to stiffen in surprise as he felt JD's lips against his in a quick sweet kiss that made Perry's head fall forwards as he lost the resistance of the other's lips against his. The only thought that crossed the doctor's mind was when had he missed JD moving towards him before he realized that the kiss had stopped.

Perry opened his eyes to find JD's blue green eyes staring up with him in curiosity and a hint of fear. Perry growled softly, causing JD to jump before his arms pulled the dark haired man against him so he could finish the kiss properly-when he wanted to.

And that wasn't going to be for a long time.

* * *

"JD, what the hell happened to you!" Elliot cried as the black haired man walked into work, his head stuck higher in the clouds than normal. He quickly looked at Elliot and grinned. Carla was looking at him from behind the nurse's station. She shook her head sadly as Elliot and JD approached her. Her eyes focused on how bruised the young man's lips were and the bite mark that barely showed over the neck of his scrubs. JD pulled up at the shirt nervously as he felt Carla and Elliot's eyes on him.

"Did you meet somebody after you left Dr. Cox's last night?" Turk asked as he approached his friends. His arm slipped around Carla's waist before he placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Merry Christmas, baby." Carla grinned and leaned against Turk as she readjusted her gaze on JD.



"Bambi, don't think for a second that you're leaving here without telling us. Now who is she?" JD grinned, his fingers, unconsciously, dancing over the mark on his collarbone. Elliot eyed her friend and gasped, causing Carla and Turk to look at her in shock.

"You left Dr. Cox's last night, right? I mean you didn't spend the night there, did you?" Carla motioned for Elliot to lower her voice, her eyes on the doctor who was walking up to the nurse's station.

"As usual it's the Sacred Heart Cheer squad. What are you girls up to? This is a hospital and-" Perry stopped halfway through his rant as he felt Elliot, Carla and Turk's eyes on him. He swore he could feel the blush's heat radiating from JD's body. "Oh for the love of, I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your cheer squad out of it. At least I didn't see you with a gong this morning." Perry stared JD in the eyes, he couldn't help the grin that was playing on his lips as he kept an angry expression on his face. JD gulped as his friend's exchanged looks of shock.

"I wasn't the one who left this mark where they could see it." JD hissed as he tried to return the glare. Perry allowed the grin to win as he quickly pecked JD's lips before he took a few steps past the group. He turned to see all of their shocked faces, so he took it upon himself to use his file to slap JD's ever adorable ass-Perry couldn't believe he'd actually described something as adorable and attached to JD at the same time as touching it, and knowing he'd want do it again.

JD jumped as his hands instinctively moved to protect his rear, only to have one hand snatched by the older doctor. JD looked over his shoulder to the grin on Perry's face, quickly grinning back at his friends, he allowed himself to be dragged off with the other man.

Standing against the wall adjacent the nurse' station, Ben and Chancy grinned at each other. Ben smiled as he saw Jordan enter the hospital, Jack on her hip, and make a quick remark at the gawking group that stood in the wake of Perry's sudden burst of PDA and non-Perryness.

"We did good." A quick high five was exchanged. As the sound of the clap faded, so did the two men.

"Who high fived and forgot the Todd?" Todd skidded to a stop in front of the nurse's station. Jordan grinned and pointed him in the direction that Perry had taken JD. Nodding a quick thanks the Todd disappeared around a corner. Jordan grinned as she kissed Jack's head at the next sound.

"SHIT!" Perry's voice echoed down the halls

"Todd!" JD squeaked.

"There's always room for the Todd! And the Todd wants in on this!" A slam echoed down the corridor.

"Merry Christmas, Newbie." Perry whispered as he leaned in to kiss the still sore lips he'd attacked so viciously the night before. He was going to get used to this PDA thing if it meant he could pull JD into empty rooms and supply closets when he felt the need and he couldn't help but wish he'd acted earlier, but was none the less grateful for everything he'd been shown. This future hadn't been shown and he was going to make this one better than the one's he'd been shown.

_**FIN**_

* * *

Thanks again for everybody who read this. Sorry that I finished the Christmas story right before Spring Break...a little out of the season, but its always time for holiday cheer!!


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